I know there's been a lot of speculation lately on the internet about what I really am (Is he a centaur? A space bear? A unibrow follicle? What?) But the truth of the matter is, I'm a man. And men grow beards. Which is the reason that I've decided to grow a beard through the months of January and February, which is often known by the natives as Bearduary. Well, being that a beard is a great responsibility that requires great testicle strength, I've decided to show you week one of Operation: Beard Growth with plans of showing you what I look like by the end of the mission.
And yes, you are welcome to marvel at the power of my beard.
Leave a comment below of what you want me to shave my beard into first when I finish with the cycle (Muttonchops? Handlebars? A Fu Manchu? The choice is yours!)
Fathers, lock up your daughters.