Saturday, September 29, 2012

Arachnophobia Review [Blu-Ray]

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Here's my review of the horrible, horrible movie Arachnophobia, which was recently released on Blu-Ray. Check it out here.

Friday, September 28, 2012

The Avengers [Blu-Ray] Review

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The Avengers is probably my favorite movie of 2012. See my review of the Blu-Ray disc here.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Why Breaking Bad and Not Homeland Should Have Won Best Drama

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I have nothing against the show Homeland. I mean, I don't find it interesting--The two or three episodes I saw didn't grip me--but there are a lot of shows I don't enjoy but still respect, like Mad Men. It's good enough, I guess. The critics like it. That's fine.

But there is no way Homeland should have won best drama last night at the Emmys. Not in a million years. When you have a show like Breaking Bad, which until last half-season, had the best season in television history with season 4, there really is no competition. In fact, while watching season 4, I had a giddy smile on my face the entire time since I knew it was finally going to be BB's year to win best drama. How could it not when it was changing the landscape of television forever with the war between Gus and Walt?

But then, it didn't win, and mostly because the new flavor of the year was around. What bull! The same thing happened with Lost on its first season. Granted, the first season of that show was pretty damn good, but best drama of the year? I'm not going to go to those lengths.

The problem is that the Emmys never award the best show when it comes to drama. The Wire, which is undoubtedly the second greatest show in history after Breaking Bad, never won best drama, either, which doesn't make any sense. Years from now, people will look at BB the same way they look at The Wire, which is as the textbook definition of greatness. With comedy, the Emmys are usually spot-on--Arrested Development would win constantly, even though it didn't do well ratings wise--but drama, not so much. It's as bad as the Academy Awards when it comes to judging in that field. The judges suck.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

What smells worse when not washed for a day? Armpits or crotches?

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It's the age old question: What smells worse when you don't shower for a day, your armpits or your crotch? I think the answer differs for males and females. Since females don't fart, have BO, or do number 2 (Scientific fact), they can probably go days, or even months, without bathing. In fact, if I were a female reader of this post (I know there might be at least one of you out there), I would try it. How long can you go without bathing and still get away with it in public? I think the answer may surprise you!

But for men, the answer is not so crystal clear. Unbeknownst to women (Or at least my wife), a man's balls (Or, bawls, as the intellectuals like to call them) start to smell REALLY bad if you don't wash them for longer than a day. In fact, according to research I've done after RPG marathons, I've found that my man purse smells about 80% more if it sits in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles briefs for more than 24 hours. Eighty percent! That's a high figure!

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But wait! There's more! I've also realized though that my pits smell pretty vile, too, if I don't wash them as well, even with Old Spice coating them. After a day, the stink molecules start to build up and collect until not even my own mother would hug me. That's pretty bad!

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So, what's the answer then? Well, I'm going to have to go with my downtown district. You see, maybe it's the underwear I'm wearing, or maybe it's the fact that I work out, but it can get quite sweaty in the region and it's also smothered up. So the answer is that China smells worse when you don't bathe for a day, not Canada. Now aren't you glad you read this piece? No, well, you read it, and you can't unread it. Sorry.


 For all those following along, the comics section of my book, The Darkness of the Womb, gets updated every week around noon on Sunday's. The latest chapter is up. Please give it a gander here.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Darkness of the Womb

The website for my book, The Darkness of the Womb, has some new comics and podcasts up. Check it out here.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Review: Judge Dredd [Blu-Ray]

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Hey, everybody. Check out my review of the original Judge Dredd movie here. I gave it four stars out of five. I'm dead serious. Read the review and find out why.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Pitch (Can anybody tell me how to improve it?)

The Darkness of the Womb

Speculative fiction
62,000 Words

Unborn child, Aiden Haunt, is destined to be the messiah. There’s only one problem. He doesn’t want to be born. As he rests in his mother’s womb, he dreams all day on the Tree of Life where he sees his future and wants no part of it. So he throws himself from the tree, only to be saved by one of the many storks that inhabit this world called the Internal Landscape. The Landscape is a dangerous place governed by Lords Imagination, Logic, Purpose, and Instinct. It exists within all people at the center of the human brain. 

Meanwhile, in the world we live in outside the mind, Jeff and Marigold Haunt are first-time, soon-to-be-parents in their late 40s. This baby means everything to them as Marigold has suffered miscarriage after miscarriage over the years. But ever since she became pregnant, Marigold has been hearing voices, and after a dangerous fall down the stairs, she lands brain dead in a coma. This leaves Jeff heartbroken at losing the love of his life. He commits suicide.

But death is not the end. Both Marigold and Jeff are now caught in the Internal Landscape along with their unborn child, Aiden, who is being held captive by Lord Imagination. Aiden still wants no part of being born, and if not for Imagination keeping him asleep until his parents reach him, the child would have miscarried himself long ago. Imagination wants the parents to convince Aiden to want to be born, since Marigold’s body is still alive, even if her brain isn’t. 

Lord Logic doesn’t want this to happen. Forever rivals with Lord Imagination, she fears what the fate of mankind could be if Imagination promotes this child to be a messiah. Banding with Lord Purpose, she fights to stop the parents from ever reaching their child, but what can stop a mother’s love? 

Opening words

Aiden Haunt turned over in his cradle.
He dug his cheek into his pillow and pulled up his blanket to shelter himself from the whistling breeze and hide from the birds circling below him around the Tree of Life.
From the tree grew a million limbs, and on each rocked cradles. Enormous birds circled the tree and picked up the babies when their mothers were ready to give birth to them.
It was on the highest limb that gently rocked Aiden’s cradle that the gargantuan bird with the gangling legs, spindly neck, and a bill just as long came to perch. Aiden couldn’t see the bird because his eyes were closed, but he felt its presence weigh down on the branch. The bird was early; several months so, actually, but Aiden had known this day would come

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Cool Webcomics from a pal

So, I met this cool artist at this conference called MoCCA named Heather Nunnelly and she's running this rad website. You can (And should) check it out here.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Review: Safe

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Hey, all. Here's my review of the movie Safe on DVD. Check it out here.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Gearing Up to Get an Agent info sheet

Deana Barnhart

Me Doing Me!
Well now, I guess I'm in the thick of it, eh? 
My name is Rich B. Knight and I just turned 29 (So I'm still not 30! You can't take that away from me! No one can!) I teach English in an urban school during the day and when I get home, I read and write before I go to the gym. I do that every weekday without fail. It's a routine. 

I write articles for online sites and also work on the sequel to my book, The Darkness of the Womb, which is called Traipsing. I'm a recently married man and I'm enjoying the life so far. Annnnnd that's about it.

Now for the questions...
-Where do you write? On my living room couch, even though I have an office upstairs. 

-Quick. Go to your writing space, sit down and look to your left. What is the first thing you see? A whole bunch of presents for our wedding that we have no place in our small apartment to put. They almost reach the ceiling. I'm not even joking.

-Favorite time to write? I'm not too fond of writing at any time, really. I know I have to do it though, so I do it.  

-Drink of choice while writing? Orangina. 

-When writing , do you listen to music or do you need complete silence? I usually listen to soundtracks, like the There Will Be Blood score or Apocalypse Now. I also enjoy video game soundtracks. Progressive rock is good, too. 

-What was your inspiration for your latest manuscript and where did you find it? I got the inspiration for my book from an episode of The Sopranos where Tony was shot and in a coma, and he lived this whole other life within a hospital bed. That, and an old comic book called, The Maxx. There was a lot of philosophy in that comic.

-What's your most valuable writing tip? Always write, even if you don't want to. Force your brain to get moving. The best work comes out of you when you're least expecting it.
And that's me. Looking forward to learning about you.