Saturday, December 31, 2011

My Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2011

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Okay, while I still didn't see the four movies I was holding out for before I wrote this list (The Descendents, The Artist, Melancholia, and Take Shelter), I still saw an assload of movies and here were my favorites of the year. Maybe your favorites made the list, too. Check it out.

10. Horrible Bosses

Horrible Bosses was the kind of movie that was hilarious the first time, but not so much the second. Kind of like Borat. It doesn't hold up on repeated viewings, but for that first time I saw it, it was one of my favorite movies of the summer. Motherf**ker' Jones!

9. Rango

Rango was just too weird NOT to like. Any "kid's movie" that features a cameo of Raoul Duke from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas makes this list. No question.

8. Hugo

Hugo was the film I was most surprised with liking this year, which is strange, given that it had the Scorsese pedigree. Watching those trailers, though, I didn't know what to think. But after seeing it, it's one of the most beautiful films of the year. It's touching and also a history lesson on film. It's incredible. But it's also definitely NOT for kids. Not because it has anything their virgin ears couldn't handle, but because it takes a very adult approach in telling a children's story. Kids will be bored silly, but adults will dig it. See this film.

7. Cedar Rapids

Honestly the funniest movie of the year. In what other film do you have John C. Reilly being his regular goofy self, and Senator Clay Davis (Isiah Whitlock Jr.) pretending to be Omar from The Wire? A first class comedy with heart. I loved it.

6. 50/50

Wow. Looking back at this list, 2011 was seriously the year of comedies. But 50/50 was a different kind of comedy since it was the kind that could make you feel stronger after watching it. Joseph Gordon-Levitt bared the burden of carrying the emotional heft of this cancer tale by having the Big C, and Seth Rogen got to lighten it up by saying lines like, "He has type 4 Cancer." Type 4 Cancer...that still makes me laugh. A great, sad, and yet, triumphant film. It's little wonder so few people actually saw it. It was too good for most people.

5. X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class is the best Marvel movie ever made and only a step down from the greatness that is The Dark Knight. Nuff said.

4. The Muppets

I knew I was going to love the Muppet movie as how could I not? It's the Muppets. But I didn't think I would love it THIS much. It's just too good. My favorite part of it is actually not even the Muppets themselves, but Chris Cooper, who steals the show entirely. Maniacal laugh.

3. Drive

If this list was for the coolest picture of the year, Drive would be number one, no question. Its style was impeccable, its music was incredible, and the acting in it was just jaw-droppingly good. Plus, it had Bryan Cranston in it, so yeah, one of the best of the year. Love it.

2. War Horse

War Horse is incredibly mawkish and melodramatic, but it made me cry. Twice. I don't cry in movies. Ever. But War Horse made me do it. From the music, to the cinematography, to just everything about it, it's one of the most beautiful and touching films I've ever seen. It's also one of Spielberg's best.

1. The Tree of Life

My favorite film of the year (and inversely, my fiance's most hated film of the year) is probably one of the most polarizing films you'll ever see. You either love it to death, or you think it's one of the worst films you've ever seen. I pick the former. It's beautiful beyond measure and it captivated me to the very last frame. It's the only film I've ever seen where the plot was not as important as the visuals passing by. It's like a dream, a meandering, but focused, dream. The best film of the year, no question. Hell, one of the best films ever in my opinion. A masterpiece.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

My Top Ten Favorite Steven Spielberg Films

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So, I was going to make a, "My Top Ten Favorite Movies of 2011" list. But since I didn't see The Artist, The Descendents or Melancholia yet, I thought I'd hold off on that. But I DID see War Horse today, and I seriously fell in love with it. So, it got me thinking about my top ten favorite Spielberg movies and...well, here they are. Now, before you even wonder, I don't like E.T., Jaws, or Close Encounters of the Third Kind, so those blockbusters are not on this list. But some other great ones are. So take a look. Some of your favorites are probably on here, too. Read.

10. A.I.: Artificial Intelligence

I know a lot of people hate this movie, but it holds a special place in my heart. It's a highly imperfect film, but it reaches greatness at times, especially in the first act, which showed great potential (And was actually inspired by Stanley Kubrick's vision, as it was his dream project before he died). The ending is typical Spielberg slop, but the beginning and middle are great. A top notch film with a crummy conclusion. I'll take it.

9. The Color Purple

Nowhere near as good (or as graphic) as the book, but very memorable, The Color Purple, along with Amistad and Empire of the Sun, is one of those movies where you actually forget Spielberg directed it until you look it up on imdb. It has a lot of great scenes and some hilarious lines along with the excellent drama. It's an overall enjoyable picture and definitely one of my faves by the man. No question.

8. Catch Me if You Can

Catch Me If You Can is a crowd-pleaser, which is what Spielberg is always best at. It's a quick-paced story about Leo D as a liar, and Tom Hanks trying to catch him. It's energetic, it's fun, and it's entertaining, and I love it. It's one of his better later films in Spielberg's indelible career.

7. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

I know Raiders of the Lost Ark is the better picture, but I just love The Temple of Doom more. The heart scene, the bridge scene, the tube raft on the snow scene, just everything about it is more memorable to the kid in me than Raiders. I can't get enough of it. It even helped create the PG-13 rating. It doesn't get much better than that. It really doesn't.

6. The Terminal

Okay, if I haven't lost credibility yet with this list, I'm sure I have now. Putting The Terminal on this list and not Jaws? I'm crazy, right? Well, yes, but I still like this picture better. The whole movie takes place in an airport and has Tom Hanks kind of sounding like Borat. But you know what, it's entertaining as all hell and has great pacing, which is more than I can say for Jaws, which is incredibly slow. It's not the best film Spielberg has ever done, but it fits nicely in his filmography as a film of his that you may have forgotten about. It's a really great picture if you don't remember it. Watch it again and see what I mean.

5. Saving Private Ryan

Saving Private Ryan was never as good as people made it out to be, as it falls apart after that startling opening scene. But let me tell you, that opening scene is SO amazing, that it has to put this movie on this list, as it's probably the greatest single piece of film Spielberg has ever done. War has NEVER been as scary or as graphic as it was in that opening scene. It's just incredible. Top notch work from a truly prolific director.

4. War Horse

Maybe I have to let it sink in more or watch it again, but War Horse just blew me away when I saw it today. I've only cried watching one other movie (Spirited Away, believe it or not), but I cried watching War Horse. Twice, even. It really got to me. Hell, even the trailer could make you weep. It's mawkish as all hell, sure, but it's also beautiful and touching. I loved it.

3. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

So, yeah, I love The Temple of Doom, but I love Last Crusade even more. Everything about it is just more epic. Sean Connery is great as Indy's dad, River Phoenix falling in a pit of snakes as young Indy is vintage, and that final scene of, "Jesus was a carpenter," is legendary. The best film in the trilogy (And yes, that's right, I'm not including Crystal Skull in the series. Aren't we all better for it?).

2. Jurassic Park

The wonder and scope of this picture is just insane. The book was incredible, the movie is incredible, and the dinosaurs were just amazing. Not only at the time, but even still today. They look great. And Newman from Seinfeld is brilliant. One of Spielberg's very best films, but not the best. That award goes to...

1. Schindler's List

Schindler's List is the only picture Spielberg ever won best picture and best director for, and it was the only picture he deserved it for. Schindler's List is such a deeply personal, horrific and even beautiful film that it shall always go down as the greatest movie the man has ever done. It's a masterpiece. It's HIS masterpiece. Nothing even comes close.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

I Hate Hipsters

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I detest hipsters. They deserve knuckle-sandwiches and swirlies by burly men wearing varsity jackets. Now, I'm not a hateful man. I'm really not. But there's just something about hipsters that I loathe. It was hard narrowing it down to three generalities, but I have and they're below. Read on.

The Look

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Tight ass pants (Possibly even jeggings). Black glasses. A silly looking hat (Possibly a douchey fadora), maybe even a scarf when it's below 50 degrees. An annoying, anti-manly, mustache (For the dudes). For a group of people who claim to be so creative, you sure do seem to fall in line when it comes to wearing a uniform. Weak.

Music preference

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Okay, so I may be a music snob myself, but I never flaunt it like a badge of honor. Hipsters seem to revel in the fact that the band you like can't compare to the obscure band they like. And that whatever their favorite band is, their first album was better than...their first album. Hipsters are annoying like that. Bleh.

Their Outlook on Life

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Hipsters seem to think, or at least the ones I've talked to, that they're smarter than you. They shrug off important details and are very quiet until an issue they're passionate about comes up, and then, they light up and disavow any opinion you might have with a smug look. They do this because they obviously understand something that you don't and know what they're talking about...because they're experts on everything. The word hipster is pretty much a synonym for douchebag.

In closing

I know that not ALL hipsters are like this. Generalizing an entire group is just as bad as racism. And I must admit, when they're not giving you that look of theirs or their penises aren't poking out through their tight ass pants, they usually have a cheerful attitude about them. As least the females do. Still, whenever I see one, I just want to spit on the floor. Hipsters, chill with that shit. It's annoying as hell. Go away.

Friday, December 23, 2011

The 25 Best Fan-Created Video Game Art

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I had to really scour the internet, but I think I've found the greatest fan made video game art the world has to offer. Check it out here.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Top Ten Greatest Actors' voices of all time

You know what makes a great actor's voice? When you can shut your eyes, nod, and say, "Damn. That guy is one awesome/unique Mr Falcon." Here are the top ten greatest.

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10. Keith David

Who you say? Come on, man, you know him. You just don't recognize the name.

Goliath?...From Gargoyles? Yeah, I told you you knew him. He was also in They Live, kicking the crap out of Rowdy Roddy Piper and arguing about not wearing "the sunglasses." So smooth. So badass. So Keith David.

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9. Al Pacino

Manic, violent, guttural, Al Pacino sounds like he was born in the gutter, and it always suited his roles perfectly. Except when he was playing a blind alcoholic. That was kind of weird. And oh yeah, Elaine from Seinfeld does a great impression.

8. Jack Nicholson

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Though Jack Nicholson and Christian Slater pretty much have the exact same voice.

I'm going to go with Jack on this one, since he's the originator and not a piece of shit like Christian SLater. His work in The Shining was made all the better with that throaty, manic voice of his. Nobody threatens their wife with a baseball bat like Jack Nicholson. Nobody.

7. John Wayne

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Contrary to popular belief, the Duke DIDN'T always say "Pilgrim" at the end of every sentence. But it seems like he would, right? John Wayne, in a nutshell, is pretty much the embodiment of pure testosterone. That's why he's awesome, and that's why he's on this list. Pilgrim.

6. Bruce Campbell

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Smarmy, douchie, manly, Bruce Campbell is all these things. The only man who could make "Groovy," sound like the coolest word in the world, Bruce Campbell has one of the greatest voices (and chins) ever. Hail to the king, baby.

5. Samuel L. Jackson

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The master of motherf**ker, Samuel L Jackson has played everything from a Jedi to Martin Luther King Jr. And while the line, "I have a dream, motherf**ker," (Shout out to Vince!) isn't in the play, would it sound so wrong coming out of his mouth? F**k no, motherf**ker.

4. Martin Sheen

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Martin Sheen's voice is like a cross between burning metal and a tortured soul, looking back on its life. His voice made Apocalypse Now a better film, and it made The West Wing a better show. Hell, it's even great in Pepsi ads. Take a listen below. Yeah...Martin Sheen is the shit.

3. James Earl Jones

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Darth. Freaking. Vader. That is all.

2. Orson Welles

Orson Welles sounded crazy ever since Citizen Kane, but his greatest role is probably as Unicron, the transformer devourer. Best...villain...ever. No lie. Dig that sinister voice.

1. Clint Eastwood

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By far, the greatest, manliest, raspiest, coolest, most badass voice EVER though is clint Eastwood. One word out of his mouth and you KNOW shit is going down. The man is a legend with a capital L. Best believe it.

The 10 Worst Fighting Games

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It's been a long time (a long time), I shouldn'ta left you. Without a dope article to step to. So, um, here it is. The top ten worst fighting games ever. Check it out.

Friday, December 2, 2011

10 Movies We Want To See Made Into Games

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Here's my latest article. It's about movies that should be made into video games. Check it out.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Portable Plumber: The Complete History of Mario in Handheld Games

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Here's an extensive piece on every handheld Mario game ever made. Check it out here.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Review: Fishing Resort [Wii]

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Honestly, when was the last time you played your Wii? Five months ago? Six? A whole year ago? Honestly, the line-up for the Wii has been pathetic at best and a rollicking train wreck at worst. In fact, it’s probably been even WORSE than a rollicking train wreck. Seriously, the Wii has gone downhill beyond measure. Sure, the new Legend of Zelda might make you whip it out of the closet pretty soon, but as far as third-party support is concerned, it’s basically nonexistent.

But not TOTALLY nonexistent, as made evident by Yuji Naka’s latest game, Fishing Resort for the Wii. Now I know. Fishing? Who the hell wants to play that? Well, I agree, I sure as hell don’t. But I’m not the audience for a fishing game anyway. To me, I think fishing games are about as exciting to playing golf on the PS3. In other words, I couldn’t give a crap about it.

That said, I do know that fishing games DO have an audience, even if it’s limited, and as far as that’s concerned, Fishing Resort isn’t a bad game. Yuji Naka, the creator of Sonic the Hedgehog, has managed to make a fishing game that’s at the very least enjoyable. By adding objectives and contests in the game to participate in, as well as the ability to go around your resort and talk to people, this fishing game adds a bit of flair to something that could have been a lot more mundane.

People who dig fishing games will like the added immersion of going around a resort as if this were an actual vacation. Catching fish can only take you so far, but Mr. Naka has managed to make it somewhat tolerable by giving diverse environments to go fishing in as well as the ability to ride on boats. I can’t say that this is the kind of game that will resurrect the Wii from the ashes, but it’s an enjoyable, even relaxing experience nonetheless. Catching fish is easy—you just swing your Wiimote at fish and lure them in by twirling the nunchucku. But there’s strategy involved to catching the heavier fish, and you can trade your points in and get better lures. It’s fun.

Overall, if you like fishing games and have a Wii, you might enjoy this game. If you don’t like fishing games, then you won’t give a crap about it. But you already knew that, right? Give it a try if you’re bored of the Wii’s weak lineup.

Player: 1
Platforms: Nintendo Wii
Developer: Prope
Publisher: Namco Bandai
Rating: Three stars out of five

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Mugshot Gallery: 10 Video Game Characters Who Deserve to Go to Jail

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Mega Man (And many other video game characters) deserve to be in jail. Check out my list of who here.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Review: Super Mario 3D Land Proves to Be the First Must-Have Title on the 3DS

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The new Super Mario Bros. on the 3DS is amazing. Seriously, it is. Check out my review of the game here.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The Top Five Oldest Looking, Yet Youngest Black Musicians Ever

It's no lie. Black men, face wise, age quickly. When I was 23, people mistook me for 33. The huge, grizzly man beard didn't help my case, but still, blacks look old when they're young. That is, of course, until we hit 35, which we can look well into our 40s. It's strange. Anywho, without further ado...

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5. T-Pain
Real age: 26
How old he looks: 34

Back in 2006 when T-Pain first appeared on the scene with the song, "I'm F**ked Up," I immediately needed to see who sang it. And when I did, I said, "Wow, he's getting into the game pretty late at 30." He was only 19 years old at the time. Point made.

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4. Wale
Real age: 27
How old he looks: 33

Wale is one year younger than me. But we look neck and neck when it comes to looking in our 30s. I always say that you have to subtract about six years when gauging how old a black dude is, and Wale is evidence of that. See?

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3. Ol' Dirty Bastard
Real age (At death): 35
How old he looked entire career: 35

'Ol Dirty Bastard is RIGHT. When did this guy EVER look young? Sure, it could be the coke that did it to him, but...yeah, it was probably the coke. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

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2. Jimi Hendrix
Real Age (At death): 27
How old he looked: 40

There's no question, Jimi Hendrix was a rock god. But he was also damned young when he died. He was even younger than me! That said, he looked like he'd been playing geetar for over 20 years. Next to Kurt Cobain, he was the oldest looking 27 year old EVER. Alcohol is a hell of a drug.

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1. The Notorious B.I.G.
Real age (At death): 24
How old he looked: 44

Maybe it was the heavy eyelids, maybe it was the deep voice, or maybe it was just the everyday struggle lyrics, but B.I.G. looked mad old by the time he died. Amazingly, he was the youngest person on this list. Damn...

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I Have No Time to Read, Like, At All

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I just recently got two MORE books in the mail that I've ordered and have no time to read. Both of them are by Richard Adams and both of them are not Watership Down. One of them is called Shardik, which is actually a character in Stephen King's Dark Tower series, and the other is The Plague Dogs, which was the saddest cartoon movie I've ever seen in my entire life. On my reading list, these books are way behind Foundation and Empire, a Kurt Vonnegut book of short stories, and We The Living, which I have STILL haven't finished yet. Oh, brother. When will I have the time?

The 10 Greatest Cheat Codes in Gaming History

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You want cheat codes? I got 'em. Check out my latest article here.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Pixelated History: "Call of Duty" From Inception to Modern Warefare 3

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Here's my CoD history article. It goes from the first Call of Duty to Modern Warfare 3. Check it out here.

Friday, October 28, 2011

The 12 Most Memorable Appearances of Chainsaws in Video Games

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Here's my chainsaw article for Complex. Splatterhouse, Zombies Are My Neighbors, Manhunt, all the good stuff. Check it out.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Top Fifteen Greatest YouTube Videos Of All Time

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After unlimited porn, Google, and Facebook (In that order), the next greatest thing the internet has ever provided us humans is YouTube. Whether the videos were uploaded by ordinary Americans or were found from around the world, YouTube has provided us with countless hours of enjoyment. Here are the top fifteen best videos from the user-friendly site. Enjoy.

15. Friday

The true definition of a Youtube "star." Rebecca Black proved to the world that something can be SO awful, that it's actually enjoyable. And here's the proof.

14. Best Freak Out Ever

Is there anything better than a nerd so upset that he lost everything from his WOW account that he tries to stick a remote up his ass? Nope.

13. Leprechaun in the hood

If you can't tell from the picture above, I'm a black dude. Still, I can't help but laugh at the ignorance of this one black community in Alabama that is convinced they saw a leprechaun in their neighborhood. The best is the sketch of this said leprechaun. That could have been a cleaned up version of Bushwick Bill they saw, hiding up in a tree.

12. Honey Badger

Is "Randall" gay? Is he straight and just pretending to be gay? I don't know. But I do know this. Whoever this "Randall" guy is, he's funny. Narrating something from National Geographic and revealing just how badass the honey badger really is, Randall gives a play by play ("'Whoa! Watch out!'" says that bird")of the most "fearless" animal in the world. Seriously, watch out.

11. My New Haircut

Dripping with truth is this video about a nobody getting a new, Guido haircut, and becoming a somebody. What's so great about this vid is that it actually predates The Jersey Shore and it's about 100 times funnier than it. PROTEIIIN! Muscle MIILLLK!

10. Tunak Tunak

Daler Mehndi is no joke. I actually had my best friend, who's Indian, buy me his greatest hits album. And I dug it! It's cheerful and fun. That said, this video is just bananas. It has really awful special effects that look like lost footage from Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Which is why it's awesome.

9. Zombie Kid Really Likes Turtles

This video is just classic. Here you have this kid, probably thinking about watching cartoons later, when this reporter comes out of nowhere and asks him a question about his makeup. And he says the first thing that's on his mind, which is his affinity toward turtles. The best part is watching the reporter trying not to laugh her ass off about how dumb this kid is. But hey, I like turtles, too!

8. Fat Girl Falls Off Table

This video is like an Alfred Hitchcock movie with all the suspense involved. You know no good can come from a girl that big standing on a table that small. And the whole time, you're just WAITING for that table to bust in two. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Her weight distribution to the front of the table makes it flip over. But the fall itself is satisfying enough. I especially love her rolling around on the floor and cursing. Serves you right, babe.

7. Double Rainbow

You know, I never even thought about how awesome double rainbows were until I watched this video, but yeah, they're pretty rad. Not so rad that I start crying and screaming to the heavens, but yup, pretty rad, indeed. Double rainbow all the way!

6. Unmasked Power Rangers Perform a Song Called Moscau

No, they're not Power Rangers. They're a group called Dschinghis Khan. But that still doesn't steal from the greatness of this video that proves that music around the world is much more interesting than anything we have over here. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Moscow, Moscow, Vildy is the Andyman, Roshland is the Shirlistan. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Hey!

5. Justin Wong vs. Daigo at Evo 2004

Justin Wong's Chun-Li is beastly in Street Fighter 3, and he really had Daigo's Ken on the run. But then, IT happened. Describing the event really doesn't do it justice. You just have to see it to love it. Those parries to Chun-Li's lightning kicks are astounding and I get chills every time I watch them and hear the rising crescendo of the crowd. But I guess you have to had play the game to really appreciate this clip.

4. Spaghetti Cat

Joel McHale describes this random clip perfectly. I'll let him do the talking. Watch it if you haven't seen it already.

3. It's Just like, It's Just like, a Mini MAUL!

"Living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes, oh, yeah!" Seriously, if this guy was singing this song outside of a store and I was just passing by, I would TOTALLY step inside. Best. Marketing. Ever.

2. Guy in Bear Suit Walks on the Beach After a Hurricane

Now here is a video that shows just why I love YouTube. No other site can truly capture the craziness that happens around the world like this site, and this video is evidence of that. You know that somebody saw this on TV, couldn't stop laughing, and posted it on the site immediately for the rest of the world to enjoy. Ah, the beauty of YouTube.

1. Indians Having a Good Time

Sure, it's not "Charlie Bit My Finger," Or, "Hide your kids, hide your wife" or any of the other videos you were expecting at the number one spot, but out of all the videos I've ever seen on YouTube, this is my absolute favorite. It was the actual inspiration for this list. As mentioned in my number two, YouTube is all about capturing something on film, and letting the world see it. And nothing is more unbelievable and hilarious than this clip of a bunch of Indian guys (With one in particular) just having a good time. There are actually lots of versions of this clip, but this is my favorite, as the idea of going nuts over a techno version of "Baby" by Justin Beiber, just makes me happy inside. So yep, the best video on YouTube of all time. Enjoy it.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

[Comic-Con] Impressions: Hands-on Playtime with Prototype 2 Reveals A Significant Improvement In the Franchise

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Prototype 2 looks amazing.

[Comic-Con] Some Good News and Some Bad News for the Nintendo 3DS

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The 3DS could be in trouble.

[Comic-Con] An Extensive Gallery Of Cosplayer Photos

Take a peek at these pics I took at Comic Con.

[Comic-Con] Turtle Beach Headsets Give Ear Orgasms

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I got to try out these new headsets from Turtle Beach at Comic-Con. They were great. Check out the article here.

[Comic-Con] "Sonic Generations" Gives Us a Reason to Love Sonic Again/Forgive SEGA for Past Atrocities

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Though it doesn't have my name on it, it's still my baby. Check it out here.

[Comic-Con] The Choices In Spider-Man: Edge Of Time and X-Men: Destiny

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Another article. Check it out here.

[Comic-Con] Interview: Producer Ryota Niitsuma Explains What's New In "Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3"

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Check out the interview here.

[Comic-Con] Director Toriyama and Producer Kitase Site Chrono Trigger As An Influence To Final Fantasy XIII-2

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More news out of NYCC. This time on Final Fantasy XIII-2. Check it out here.

Comic-Con: Ono-san interview

Lots of news out of Comic-Con. Here's an interview I did with the producer of Street Fighter X Tekken, Yoshinori Ono. Check it out here.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

News From Comic-Con about Street Fighter X Tekken

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Find it here.

Check out

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Yesterday, I saw somebody who read my blog, liked it, and thought to write me a nice email about it. That was kind of them. They actually work for a company called,, and since I'm all for helping fans out, I thought I'd do the guy a solid and shout out his company. So go check it out. It's a place to look for jobs and it seems to have a nice, clean look and search engine. And before any of you frequent readers shout, "Sell out!" Dude, I don't even get paid for this blog. Do you SEE any Full Sail ads floating around on the page?

So, yeah, check it out.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Top 25 Handheld Games of All Time

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Here's another top 25 list of mine that made it onto Complex. Give it a gander, won't ya?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Top 5 Songs About Faith/The Top 5 Songs About Atheism

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I can find a plethora of reasons why the two should be kept separate like church and state. That said, there are definitely great, catchy songs in both categories, and these are the top 5 in each. Please say a prayer for me for making this list.

Songs about Faith

These are popular songs about God. Not Christian or gospel music, because both of those genres suck. No, I'm talking popular, catchy songs about and featuring the Big Dude upstairs. Amen.

5. "Put Your Hand in the Hand" by Ocean

This hippy dippy love song about God is very upbeat and has a highly positive message about faith. Your Sunday school teacher would approve.

4. "One of Us" by Joan Osbourne

This hugely popular song about God riding next to you on the bus (Possibly with an iPod) got a lot of people singing about the Lord again. Even if they were atheists. Just because it was so damn catchy.

3. "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West

Though liking Kanye is blasphemous in itself since he's so awful, this song about rising up in the name of Christ had a pretty thumping beat and message at the time. And even though a lot of the song's message is deflated when he starts talking about "eating pieces of shit," it still had people in the club shouting, "Jesus walks!" over and over again, so that's good.

2. "Jesus is Just Alright With Me" by the Doobie Brothers

While the Doob's weren't the first to do this song, the Doob's slammed it home. God never sounded so good on the radio.

1. "God Gave Rock and Roll to You" by Kiss

Sure, I could have shouted out Bill and Ted on this one. But to think that the man who created the devil horns (Come on, give it to Gene Simmons), also was in the same group that performed the most ultimate song about God ever. Sure, Argent did it first, but Kiss' version is so much better. It's glorious.

Top Five Songs About Atheism

Songs about the absence of faith are often just as compelling as songs about the belief in faith, especially since most of these songs were actually pretty popular. Does that mean that people supported Atheism when they popped these in their tape decks? Hmm...the world may never admit it.

5. "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel

So upbeat, so happy, and so atheistic. Just listen to the lyrics. Man's a non-believer.

4. "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.

The absence of faith is right there in the title. But it's so good that even true believers would sing it at their concerts. That's just the power of R.E.M.

3."The Only Way (Hymn)" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer

It's a complex song musically, with a not so complex message. Religion is deceptive. Says, ELP.

2. "Dear, God" by XTC

XTC may not be the most popular group in the world, but this song drew a lot of attention when it was first released, mostly because if its ANGRY message about the absence of God in our lives. Of all the songs that could draw outrage and be popular at the same time, this might be it.

1. "Imagine" by John Lennon

This might be one of the most fascinating songs on this list, only because I think its message of a life without religion being a better life is often forgotten, even though it's the MAIN message of the song. I mean, jeez, it was even sung on American Idol, making it the greatest song about Atheism of all time.