Friday, October 28, 2011

The 12 Most Memorable Appearances of Chainsaws in Video Games

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Here's my chainsaw article for Complex. Splatterhouse, Zombies Are My Neighbors, Manhunt, all the good stuff. Check it out.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The Top Fifteen Greatest YouTube Videos Of All Time

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After unlimited porn, Google, and Facebook (In that order), the next greatest thing the internet has ever provided us humans is YouTube. Whether the videos were uploaded by ordinary Americans or were found from around the world, YouTube has provided us with countless hours of enjoyment. Here are the top fifteen best videos from the user-friendly site. Enjoy.

15. Friday

The true definition of a Youtube "star." Rebecca Black proved to the world that something can be SO awful, that it's actually enjoyable. And here's the proof.

14. Best Freak Out Ever

Is there anything better than a nerd so upset that he lost everything from his WOW account that he tries to stick a remote up his ass? Nope.

13. Leprechaun in the hood

If you can't tell from the picture above, I'm a black dude. Still, I can't help but laugh at the ignorance of this one black community in Alabama that is convinced they saw a leprechaun in their neighborhood. The best is the sketch of this said leprechaun. That could have been a cleaned up version of Bushwick Bill they saw, hiding up in a tree.

12. Honey Badger

Is "Randall" gay? Is he straight and just pretending to be gay? I don't know. But I do know this. Whoever this "Randall" guy is, he's funny. Narrating something from National Geographic and revealing just how badass the honey badger really is, Randall gives a play by play ("'Whoa! Watch out!'" says that bird")of the most "fearless" animal in the world. Seriously, watch out.

11. My New Haircut

Dripping with truth is this video about a nobody getting a new, Guido haircut, and becoming a somebody. What's so great about this vid is that it actually predates The Jersey Shore and it's about 100 times funnier than it. PROTEIIIN! Muscle MIILLLK!

10. Tunak Tunak

Daler Mehndi is no joke. I actually had my best friend, who's Indian, buy me his greatest hits album. And I dug it! It's cheerful and fun. That said, this video is just bananas. It has really awful special effects that look like lost footage from Mortal Kombat Annihilation. Which is why it's awesome.

9. Zombie Kid Really Likes Turtles

This video is just classic. Here you have this kid, probably thinking about watching cartoons later, when this reporter comes out of nowhere and asks him a question about his makeup. And he says the first thing that's on his mind, which is his affinity toward turtles. The best part is watching the reporter trying not to laugh her ass off about how dumb this kid is. But hey, I like turtles, too!

8. Fat Girl Falls Off Table

This video is like an Alfred Hitchcock movie with all the suspense involved. You know no good can come from a girl that big standing on a table that small. And the whole time, you're just WAITING for that table to bust in two. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Her weight distribution to the front of the table makes it flip over. But the fall itself is satisfying enough. I especially love her rolling around on the floor and cursing. Serves you right, babe.

7. Double Rainbow

You know, I never even thought about how awesome double rainbows were until I watched this video, but yeah, they're pretty rad. Not so rad that I start crying and screaming to the heavens, but yup, pretty rad, indeed. Double rainbow all the way!

6. Unmasked Power Rangers Perform a Song Called Moscau

No, they're not Power Rangers. They're a group called Dschinghis Khan. But that still doesn't steal from the greatness of this video that proves that music around the world is much more interesting than anything we have over here. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Moscow, Moscow, Vildy is the Andyman, Roshland is the Shirlistan. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Hey!

5. Justin Wong vs. Daigo at Evo 2004

Justin Wong's Chun-Li is beastly in Street Fighter 3, and he really had Daigo's Ken on the run. But then, IT happened. Describing the event really doesn't do it justice. You just have to see it to love it. Those parries to Chun-Li's lightning kicks are astounding and I get chills every time I watch them and hear the rising crescendo of the crowd. But I guess you have to had play the game to really appreciate this clip.

4. Spaghetti Cat

Joel McHale describes this random clip perfectly. I'll let him do the talking. Watch it if you haven't seen it already.

3. It's Just like, It's Just like, a Mini MAUL!

"Living rooms, bedrooms, dinettes, oh, yeah!" Seriously, if this guy was singing this song outside of a store and I was just passing by, I would TOTALLY step inside. Best. Marketing. Ever.

2. Guy in Bear Suit Walks on the Beach After a Hurricane

Now here is a video that shows just why I love YouTube. No other site can truly capture the craziness that happens around the world like this site, and this video is evidence of that. You know that somebody saw this on TV, couldn't stop laughing, and posted it on the site immediately for the rest of the world to enjoy. Ah, the beauty of YouTube.

1. Indians Having a Good Time

Sure, it's not "Charlie Bit My Finger," Or, "Hide your kids, hide your wife" or any of the other videos you were expecting at the number one spot, but out of all the videos I've ever seen on YouTube, this is my absolute favorite. It was the actual inspiration for this list. As mentioned in my number two, YouTube is all about capturing something on film, and letting the world see it. And nothing is more unbelievable and hilarious than this clip of a bunch of Indian guys (With one in particular) just having a good time. There are actually lots of versions of this clip, but this is my favorite, as the idea of going nuts over a techno version of "Baby" by Justin Beiber, just makes me happy inside. So yep, the best video on YouTube of all time. Enjoy it.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

[Comic-Con] Impressions: Hands-on Playtime with Prototype 2 Reveals A Significant Improvement In the Franchise

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Prototype 2 looks amazing.

[Comic-Con] Some Good News and Some Bad News for the Nintendo 3DS

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The 3DS could be in trouble.

[Comic-Con] An Extensive Gallery Of Cosplayer Photos

Take a peek at these pics I took at Comic Con.

[Comic-Con] Turtle Beach Headsets Give Ear Orgasms

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I got to try out these new headsets from Turtle Beach at Comic-Con. They were great. Check out the article here.

[Comic-Con] "Sonic Generations" Gives Us a Reason to Love Sonic Again/Forgive SEGA for Past Atrocities

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Though it doesn't have my name on it, it's still my baby. Check it out here.

[Comic-Con] The Choices In Spider-Man: Edge Of Time and X-Men: Destiny

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Another article. Check it out here.

[Comic-Con] Interview: Producer Ryota Niitsuma Explains What's New In "Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3"

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Check out the interview here.

[Comic-Con] Director Toriyama and Producer Kitase Site Chrono Trigger As An Influence To Final Fantasy XIII-2

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More news out of NYCC. This time on Final Fantasy XIII-2. Check it out here.

Comic-Con: Ono-san interview

Lots of news out of Comic-Con. Here's an interview I did with the producer of Street Fighter X Tekken, Yoshinori Ono. Check it out here.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

News From Comic-Con about Street Fighter X Tekken

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Find it here.

Check out

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Yesterday, I saw somebody who read my blog, liked it, and thought to write me a nice email about it. That was kind of them. They actually work for a company called,, and since I'm all for helping fans out, I thought I'd do the guy a solid and shout out his company. So go check it out. It's a place to look for jobs and it seems to have a nice, clean look and search engine. And before any of you frequent readers shout, "Sell out!" Dude, I don't even get paid for this blog. Do you SEE any Full Sail ads floating around on the page?

So, yeah, check it out.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Top 25 Handheld Games of All Time

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Here's another top 25 list of mine that made it onto Complex. Give it a gander, won't ya?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Top 5 Songs About Faith/The Top 5 Songs About Atheism

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I can find a plethora of reasons why the two should be kept separate like church and state. That said, there are definitely great, catchy songs in both categories, and these are the top 5 in each. Please say a prayer for me for making this list.

Songs about Faith

These are popular songs about God. Not Christian or gospel music, because both of those genres suck. No, I'm talking popular, catchy songs about and featuring the Big Dude upstairs. Amen.

5. "Put Your Hand in the Hand" by Ocean

This hippy dippy love song about God is very upbeat and has a highly positive message about faith. Your Sunday school teacher would approve.

4. "One of Us" by Joan Osbourne

This hugely popular song about God riding next to you on the bus (Possibly with an iPod) got a lot of people singing about the Lord again. Even if they were atheists. Just because it was so damn catchy.

3. "Jesus Walks" by Kanye West

Though liking Kanye is blasphemous in itself since he's so awful, this song about rising up in the name of Christ had a pretty thumping beat and message at the time. And even though a lot of the song's message is deflated when he starts talking about "eating pieces of shit," it still had people in the club shouting, "Jesus walks!" over and over again, so that's good.

2. "Jesus is Just Alright With Me" by the Doobie Brothers

While the Doob's weren't the first to do this song, the Doob's slammed it home. God never sounded so good on the radio.

1. "God Gave Rock and Roll to You" by Kiss

Sure, I could have shouted out Bill and Ted on this one. But to think that the man who created the devil horns (Come on, give it to Gene Simmons), also was in the same group that performed the most ultimate song about God ever. Sure, Argent did it first, but Kiss' version is so much better. It's glorious.

Top Five Songs About Atheism

Songs about the absence of faith are often just as compelling as songs about the belief in faith, especially since most of these songs were actually pretty popular. Does that mean that people supported Atheism when they popped these in their tape decks? Hmm...the world may never admit it.

5. "Only the Good Die Young" by Billy Joel

So upbeat, so happy, and so atheistic. Just listen to the lyrics. Man's a non-believer.

4. "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.

The absence of faith is right there in the title. But it's so good that even true believers would sing it at their concerts. That's just the power of R.E.M.

3."The Only Way (Hymn)" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer

It's a complex song musically, with a not so complex message. Religion is deceptive. Says, ELP.

2. "Dear, God" by XTC

XTC may not be the most popular group in the world, but this song drew a lot of attention when it was first released, mostly because if its ANGRY message about the absence of God in our lives. Of all the songs that could draw outrage and be popular at the same time, this might be it.

1. "Imagine" by John Lennon

This might be one of the most fascinating songs on this list, only because I think its message of a life without religion being a better life is often forgotten, even though it's the MAIN message of the song. I mean, jeez, it was even sung on American Idol, making it the greatest song about Atheism of all time.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Review: Solatorobo: Red the Hunter [Nintendo DS]

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The game starts off really slow, but it grows on you. Check out my review for the game here.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Top Five Weirdest Films I've Ever Seen

What makes a weird movie for me? Well, I usually have a quotient of about five WTF per film. If a movie goes over that for me, then it's weird. And here are five of the weirdest I've ever seen.

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5. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Terry Gilliam's entire career has pretty much been WTF. (I mean, have you ever SEEN The Adventures of Baron Munchausen?) But Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas goes on this list simply because I can't believe it's even a movie. I also can't believe that people have actually seen it. A large portion of the film is just Johnny Depp making weird noises and flicking his fingers while narrating over it. And the other portion of the film is Benicio Del Toro waving a knife around while he sticks out his gut. So, um...yeah. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the movie. But I also love eating ice cream in my underwear while sitting on the toilet. Make of that as you will.

4. Barton Fink

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Barton Fink is so weird because I honesty have no idea what to categorize it as. It's seriously uncategorizeable. John Turturro has writer's block and then it goes someplace else that I'm not quite sure. The most notable, WTF moment of the movie for me is when John Goodman shouts "I'll show you the life of the mind!" while holding a shotgun and running down a hallway while flames shoot out behind him. I'm dead serious that happens in the movie. That's actually in this film...this film about writer's block.

3. Zardoz

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I've talked about Zardoz plenty of times on this blog, but seriously, how could I not? I mean, there is so much WTF going on here in this film that it's art. What other film features a giant, floating head barfing out guns, or has Sean Connery licking some dude's hand like a cat? Only one film, and that film is Zardoz.

2. Gozu

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You might be surprised that there are no David Lynch films on this list. Well, Gozu is so weird that it makes up for the absence of all of Lynch's films combined. Takashi Miike made a couple of very popular surreal films (Audition and Ichi Killer) that came stateside, but neither of those films matches the absurdness of this picture. It quite possibly has the greatest climax ever (A grown man being birthed by a woman...who may have been that same man) followed by the most abrupt explanation of said event ever (Something along the lines of, they gave the woman a bath and she was fine). There's also a lactating woman who bottles her own nutrients and a man in a giant bull's head who licks this guy's face while he's in his underwear. Weird. And beautiful.

1. Tokyo Gore Police

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I don't think there's a single scene in Tokyo Gore Police where I'm not saying WTF. Did I like it? Well, it really depends on the day, really. But as weird as I am, I seriously can't compare anything in mind to what is shown in this movie. I mean, just watch this scene below, please, and then tell me if anything in your DREAMS is even as crazy as this? Yeah, I didn't think so.