Monday, February 7, 2011

What's More Likely to Bring About the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse? A Raging Demon, or a Falcon Punch?

The world is going to end in 2012. There's no need to dispute it. Director Roland Emmerich time traveled to the future and filmed it and showed us an accurate depiction of what John Cusack will have to go through to survive it. We've all been warned through film. Watch.

Riveting stuff.

But back to the Apocalypse.

Now, the real question that everybody wants an answer to is just how we're going to go. Some speculate that a meteorite is going to strike the Earth, while others suggest that a second ice age might occur. But no, I can tell you that both of those answers are just wrong and stupid. The true end of the world can only happen two ways. And they are...

Akuma's Raging Demon

(Image taken from:

Akuma is a monster. Sure, if you merely flick him, half of his life bar goes down, but when you're not hitting him and he's hitting you, oh, baby, big trouble in little your life town. Akuma has a crazy assortment of moves, most of them involving lightning. But his most dominant move is the screen darkening Raging Demon, which is a candidate for most, "Oh, shit, you pulled it off!" moments in gaming. Take a look.

Even in real life, it's pretty deadly.

Note that immediately following it, a basketball game takes place. Could that be a glimpse of the afterlife?

Well, if it's not, it doesn't matter. If Akuma gets a hold of our world, it's curtains for Earth. I've been watching the stars lately and this seems to be a very real possibility.

Captain Falcon's Falcon Punch

(Image taken from:

The other very real possibility for the end of the world is Captain Falcon's, "Falcoooon PUNCH!" Known to level buildings and whole continents, the Falcon Punch is the deadliest move in the Super Smash Bros. franchise. Anybody that gets in its way is certain to become a star is somebody's far off galaxy. Luckily for us, Captain Falcon has directed this attack toward people, so the Earth has been safe. But what would happen if he decided to turn to the world, summon up all his strength, and shout a gigantic, "FALCOOOOON, PUUUUUUNCH!!!!" to the world? Instant Armaggeddon. There's really no disputing it. And I've heard that Captain Falc has been hitting the pipe pretty hard lately, which can't be good for anyone. Especially not Captain Falcon, but ESPECIALLY not we Earthlings.

And the "winner" for who's going to cause the end of the world iiiiiiisssss...

Smoke's Fatality from Mortal Kombat 3

I'm pretty sure we all knew the TRUE way that the world was going to end. Smoke in Mortal Kombat 3 fame is going to open up his chest, unload some bombs, and well, just watch.

Honestly, I thought it would take a lot more bombs than that to blow up the world, but apparently, I was wrong. Well, it was nice knowing all of you. Thanks for reading my blog. I'll see you all in that big basketball court in the sky. Ta-ta!

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