Thursday, February 10, 2011

Video Games That I'm Ashamed to Have Owned At One Point in My Life, Entry One: Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style

(Image taken from:

I used to be a HUGE fan of the Wu-tang Clan. Huge! So huge, in fact, that I seriously considered getting the Wu-tang symbol emblazoned on my bicep at one point. I was that hardcore.

And I'm not even just talking about buying the initial nine members' CDs here, people. I'm talking about buying ALL of the CDs from their side-members (Hello, GP Wu and Killarmy), buying their clothing line, and even calling their hotlines a few times. So, yeah, I was obsessed.

But probably the most embarrassing item that I've ever bought from their expansive collection is their video game, Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style, which is about as far away a distant cousin of the Wu-tang Clan as I am.

The history of the game is long and troubled. Much like the American version of Super Mario Bros. 2, the game that we got as a final product was not what was originally intended to be our title. What we were MEANT to get was a game called Thrill Kill, which was pretty much finished but considered too violent at the time. Take a look.

Not that bad by today's standards, right? Not with a game like Manhunt in the bargain bin.

(Image taken from:

Well, what to do with the engine then? No need to scrap it when some other characters who didn't have severed arms and heads could be put in its place, right?

Enter the Wu-tang Clan, who swooped in to take its place. Now, if you watched the clip above, you'll realize from the get-go just how God awful the fighting looks, and that didn't change a bit when the Clan took over. The fighting in Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style is pathetic. The arena can be filled with four different characters who basically have to slaughter each other to the death, which sounds promising until you actually play it. Watch.

Now, by PS1 standards, that might not look that bad, but it is. Oh, God, it is. The fighting was clunky, the graphics, even back then, were ass grease, and the soundtrack, which was meant to be its saving grace, only had about four songs on it. Add to the fact that none of the characters looked even REMOTELY close to their real life counterparts, and you have a double heaping of midget barf on a disc.

Even the fatalities sucked.

But you want to know the worst part of all this? When it was out, I actually LIKED this game. I even told others to buy it, and two or three people did, only to tell me that it sucked when they finally got it home. And man, were they right. Jeez, what being a fan will do to you. Now I know how Star Wars fans must have felt when they defended The Phantom Menace when it initially came out. Yeesh! Clouded judgment, anyone?


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