Friday, May 27, 2011

Why I Will Never Watch ABDC Ever Again

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Harold Camping was wrong. The Apocalypse wasn't supposed to be for May 21st. It's supposed to be on June 5th, when the Iconic Boyz (Boys with a Z) will inevitably be crowned America's Best Dance Crew. This is besides the facts that they can't dance and the fat one ("T Money") looks like he's going to have a heart attack at any minute right on the stage.

What bugs me the most about these Jersey Shore, the middle school years, kids is that a lot of other great crews had to go because of them. And it's probably because, duh, they have PTA parents who can get entire schools (Entire schools!) to vote for them. That, and because LL (Ladies love) T Money.

As an example of a crew that was unjustly robbed, here's Phunk Phenomenon, one of the greatest crews ABDC has ever seen (Watch at the 1:20 mark).

Did you see Bebo (the short, breakdancing one)? That was insaaaaane. That was siiiiiiccck. (Why am I talking like thiiiiiiiis?)

And now, check out the Iconic Boyz. (Watch at the 2:18 mark...if you want).

Cute, right? Something that might be really clever and sweet at a middle school dance, right? But are they really America's best dance crew? Really? No. They're more like, America's best mob related parents holding people by their ankles and demanding that they vote for their kid, dance crew.

To show contrast, watch I.aM.mE's Justin Beiber performance. They're the crew that the Iconic Boyz are up against in the finale and are ultimately going to lose to the four horsemen of the Guido Apocalypse.

I mean, seriously. Is there any question that the Iconic Boyz should have been kicked off weeks ago? They're this season's GOP Dance.

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Well, alright, they're not THAT bad, but still. If (When) Iconic Boyz take home the title of America's Best Dance Crew, that's when I'm signing off from the show forever. Randy Jackson can eat it.

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