Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Ostriches Not Being in Season to be Made into Burgers is Bulls**t

(Image taken from: capitalspice.blog.com)

Maaaan, listen. Ostrich burgers are the shit. If you don't like them, then you don't like your tongue, because ostrich burgers are amazing. And they're healthy for you, too. And by healthy, I mean healthy in the sense that they're better for you than plugging your veins to a vat of grease and having it sent directly to your heart, i.e. Micky D's. I mean, ostrich burgers are still burgers, after all, so they're not THAT good for you. But they taste good. That can't be denied.

Oh, and speaking of being denied, why was it that when I went to Fuddruckers last week, I myself was denied a delectable slab of bird on my bun? I mean, they had a picture of it, right beneath the buffalo, elk, and wild boar. In fact, this is what the sign looked like:

(Image taken from: christyxcore.posterous.com)

I mean, seriously, get inside me, ostrich. I want you. Physically. Inside of me.

But no. You know what they told me when I got to the register? They said, "We don't have ostrich right now because it's not in season, sir."

Excuse me?

Not in season? Why the hell not? Ostrich should be in season anytime I go to Fuddruckers. That's what I SHOULD have said. But instead, I said, "I'll just have the buffalo then," with my head down. It wasn't the same.

Man, I want an ostrich burger right now. I wish I was this guy. Really, I do.

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