Sunday, April 3, 2011

Cricket Might As Well Be Blernsball To Me

(Image taken from:

(Image taken from:

The same sport?

Cricket has got to be the most confusing sport I've ever seen in my entire life. First off, what does it even mean? Upon a little investigating, I found out that the name probably has something to do with the bat, but that's debatable. And then, there's the whole mechanics of the sport itself. What the hell is even going on? Here's a best of clip that I found put to God-awful music.

I mean, what did I just watch? First, there's apparently the act of "bowling," which looks more like a downward pitch followed by some light sabre like slicing. There are sticks behind the person as well, and it looks like the purpose of the game is to actually shatter the bat, which makes no sense. That game must cost a fortune if that's really the intention of it all.

Then comes "fielding." Now, what's interesting to me about this is that with fielding, instead of using a mitt or anything like that, they use their BARE HANDS to catch the ball. Now, I've actually felt a cricket ball and it's hard as P Jack's balls. Why don't they just use a mitt to catch it? I don't get it.

Followed by that is "Batting," which seems simple enough, but then, it doesn't, as it looks more like golfing. So which is it, batting, or golfing?

The strangest act of all though is the scoring of points, where it looks like people are constantly scurrying back and forth along that small strip where the "bowling" and the "batting" is occurring. I mean, I once heard that Cricket is the gentleman's version of baseball, but it looks more like the deformed brother of baseball that nobody wants to talk about and lives in the attic. In other words, it looks like this.

I'll stick to my curling and cup stacking, thank you very much.


Chiya said...

I think the ending should be rephrased to, "Baseball the lazy version of Cricket where you can weigh over 300 lbs and still be called an athlete."

- Sri

Rich Knight said...

Ha ha ha! So true, so true.