Saturday, July 26, 2014

Reviews: Hercules and Lucy

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Busy weekend for me. I got to see not one, but two, count 'em, two movies at the theater this weekend. The first was Hercules, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (I'm sorry, but no matter how many movies you star in, you will always be "The Rock" to me). Was it good? Well, it wasn't terrible, which is saying a lot since it was directed by Brett Ratner. It could have been a lot worse, I'll just say that.

Its key problem, for me anyway, was that it didn't have the 12 Labors in it, despite the fact that the trailers led you to believe that it did. The fact is, though, is that the boar, the lion, and the hydra that you saw in the trailers are all you get with this movie. In other words, you already saw the best parts. The rest of the film involves some war and betrayal and a lot of lame jokes that some of the brain dead attendants in my theater couldn't get enough of. One girl next to me almost choked on her popcorn when there was a speech about an invincible sword piercing invincible armor. She said, "He was all like, uhhhh, duuuuh. HEE HEE HEE!"

As for The Rock himself, well, he was fine. It's not all that hard to portray Hercules. Put me in a body suit, spray me with some tan, and give me a wig, and voila, I'm Hercules. I was more concerned with the fact that the movie didn't know if it wanted the characters to believe in gods or not. The movie, Troy had a similar conundrum, but it handled it better. In this film, a lot of it was based on the perceptions people had about the myths of Hercules. But you never quite feel like the gods are totally absent in this movie and that the people are just basing their beliefs on simple misconceptions. In the end, it just felt awkward. The fight scenes were cool, but the rest was a bit of a slog.

Two out of four stars

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Lucy was the second film I saw this weekend. And while the concept was stupid (Humans only use about 10% of their brains? Uh, no. We use pretty much all of our brains. I use 10% of my brain just taking a dump), the film was harmless enough to be fun. Scarjo did a good, "I know everything, I'm a walking computer" monotone impression. And Luc Besson (Leon: The Professional), who always makes batshit crazy movies, delivered in full force yet again with this one. Though, I wish it was more The Transporter, Luc Besson, and less, The Fifth Element, Luc Besson this time around. Some of this film got a bit too crazy with her abilities (Especially the ending) once she tapped into her brain's full potential, and I actually wish Besson showed some restraint. Still, I feel like this is the movie that Transcendence wanted to be, and it's at least enjoyable throughout. I was definitely never bored.

Two and a half out of four stars

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