Sunday, September 23, 2012
What smells worse when not washed for a day? Armpits or crotches?
It's the age old question: What smells worse when you don't shower for a day, your armpits or your crotch? I think the answer differs for males and females. Since females don't fart, have BO, or do number 2 (Scientific fact), they can probably go days, or even months, without bathing. In fact, if I were a female reader of this post (I know there might be at least one of you out there), I would try it. How long can you go without bathing and still get away with it in public? I think the answer may surprise you!
But for men, the answer is not so crystal clear. Unbeknownst to women (Or at least my wife), a man's balls (Or, bawls, as the intellectuals like to call them) start to smell REALLY bad if you don't wash them for longer than a day. In fact, according to research I've done after RPG marathons, I've found that my man purse smells about 80% more if it sits in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles briefs for more than 24 hours. Eighty percent! That's a high figure!
But wait! There's more! I've also realized though that my pits smell pretty vile, too, if I don't wash them as well, even with Old Spice coating them. After a day, the stink molecules start to build up and collect until not even my own mother would hug me. That's pretty bad!
So, what's the answer then? Well, I'm going to have to go with my downtown district. You see, maybe it's the underwear I'm wearing, or maybe it's the fact that I work out, but it can get quite sweaty in the region and it's also smothered up. So the answer is that China smells worse when you don't bathe for a day, not Canada. Now aren't you glad you read this piece? No, well, you read it, and you can't unread it. Sorry.