Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Three Reasons Why I Hope the Green Lantern Movie Flops
(Image taken from: platformnation.com)
Green Lantern is lame as all hell. So if you're expecting a non-biased article on GL, you're not going to find it here. I can't stand the character and his various incarnations. That said, I'm still going to see the movie. I see fracking everything, so why wouldn't I see this? Even so, I want it to flop. I want it to flop hardcore! I'm talking about Pluto Nash flopping here people. Why? Well, I'll tell you why. In three reasons or less below.
(Image taken from: flix66.com)
3. The Price
So, the price of the flick is finally out, and...wow. It's huge. Three hundred million (!) dollars huge. Yowza! I just bit my knuckles. But I can definitely see why. Even the trailer alone looks expensive. It's one giant CG orgasm right in your face (EWE!) after another. But why? This isn't Batman we're talking about here. This is Green Lantern, who certainly has his fans, sure, but he isn't worth the price tag. Most people who've seen the trailer say that it looks awful and I actually disagree. But shame on the studio for allowing it to cost so much. Why couldn't Reynold's just wear a real costume instead of some CG crap? Why does it have to look so fake? Why is it just one big cartoon? All of these questions could be asked, but my question is this: Why did they spend so damn MUCH on the thing? I hate how much it costs. These are like Titanic totals. Blrg! I hope it only makes ten bucks for the studios arrogance to think this would actually do well. It would serve them right.
(Image taken from: shockya.com)
2. Other DC Characters deserve a movie more than GL
Have you ever even read Green Lantern before? It blows, man! DC in general sucks compared to Marvel, but Green Lantern is especially lame. I can see how it might look interesting on the big screen, but why make a movie about him when a Sandman flick has never gotten off the ground? Or a Lobo movie, even. Hell, what about Sgt. Rock? The fact is, there are plenty of other characters in the DC Universe that aren't in the Justice League. And I feel those movies might never get made because of the Green Lantern's of the DC World. Hopefully, if the movie flops, studios will decide to dig even deeper into the DC archives. Easy Co. deserves it, dammit.
(Image taken from: loyalkng.com)
1. If it fails, Ryan Reynolds can do Deadpool!
Okay, now here's the REAL reason that I hope Green Lantern fails. If it succeeds, they might make more of them, and that will mean that Ryan Reynolds will NEVER get to making a Deadpool movie. And I think he'd be PERFECT as Wade Wilson, that awful cameo in Wolverine Origins, notwithstanding. Some of the people who actually got their hands on the very R-Rated Deadpool script said it was divine, and I believe them. The thing about Deadpool is that I can't see anybody else besides Ryan Reynolds playing him, sort of like how I can't see anybody else besides Robert Downey Jr. playing Tony Starks. He just fits that role like a condom. Remember, before Reynolds became the buff action hero, he was making comedies like Van Wilder. And Deadpool is the best of both worlds, with great comedy and violence combined. If Green Lantern flops, then maybe Deadpool can finally get off the ground. And isn't that reason enough to hope the potential DC debacle flops? I think so, and you should think so, too. My opinion is valid and accepted in all 50 states and commonwealths, after all.