Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Top Five Worst Pixar Movies

Inside Out is probably Pixar's best film yet. In fact, it's pretty hard to pick out many stinkers from the company that Lasseter built. But there are some stinkers, and I don't think many people would disagree with (most of) my choices below. Honestly, I would put Wall-E on this list, since I hate that film, but I know that's more of my own personal taste. Deep down, I know it's a good picture. I just can't muster the energy to care about it.

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5. Brave

This Oscar-winning picture isn't really bad per se, as much as it's disappointing. With a kickass heroine who can take care of herself and decide her own future, it's kind of shitty that the second act involves her mother turning into a bear. There's a lot to like in this film, such as the theme and setting, but I just can't get over how stupid that second half is. A bear? Really?

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4. Cars

The concept for Cars alone is pretty stupid. Cars with lights for windshields have problems and do things. Sure, Paul Newman is in the movie, and sure, Larry the Cable Guy's jokes aren't THAT bad, but overall, there is little, if anything, to like about this picture. If there was ever a Pixar movie that was made to sell toys, it's this one.

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3. Monsters Inc.

A lot of people might put Monsters U. on this list, but I actually liked the sequel much more than the original, as it had more personality and spunk. For all its cuteness and creativity, though, the original picture is quite stale and doesn't hold up well. The jokes, even with Billy Crystal, don't usually land, and besides the tremendous final act with the legion of doors, the overall storyline is just missing something. A controversial pick to be sure, but it's one I'm sticking with. Monsters Inc. is not a great film, and worse all the more so since it had so much potential (Which Monsters U. ran with).

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2. A Bug's Life

A Bug's Life is a terrible, terrible movie that both feels too long, and yet, too short at the same time, which is weird. The protagonist is annoying to the point of being unlikeable, and the antagonist, played by the brilliant Kevin Spacey, doesn't feel menacing enough. Overall, it just feels like a third-rate Disney movie that's not even good enough to go straight-to-DVD. There's a reason why the Monsters Inc. poster above says "From the creators of Toy Story" and doesn't even mention this clunker. It was only Pixar's second film, but it really brought you down from the high that was the first Toy Story.

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1. Cars 2

Oh, man. The grand turkey of them all. If you thought Cars was bad, then you ain't seen nothing. Cars 2 is such an abomination, that within 45 minutes of the picture, I turned to my wife and told her to please wake me up when it was over. Larry the Cable Guy, who is ok in moderation, stars in this spy caper that ends up being so insufferably terrible that longtime fans of Pixar were convinced that the company had lost all of its magic. Inside Out is of course proof that that's not true, but Lawdy, this film gave us some doubts. Please never make another sequel to this franchise.

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