Thursday, November 25, 2010

Question: Why Do So Many Men Hate Uggs Boots So Much?

The Skinny: Ugg. When the cold weather comes around, you can expect two things normally--Shoveling out your car (If you're an east and midwest man, that is) and women wearing Uggs boots, which, like it or not, appear to be here to stay. Now, as a guy, I have stared at these hideous Himalayan hikers with great loathing for years now and I've found that I'm not the only one. Many guys I know will blatantly tell women flat out that: "Those boots you have on are Uuuuuugg-ly. Get it? Ugly? Uggs? Aww, what do you know?" right to their faces, not feeling a shade bad about telling their girlfriends, wives, and yes, even their mothers that they've chosen a very poor style of clothing to keep their feet warm. But why do guys hate them so much? And why are some men so mean to women when they see them? Well, I think I might have the answer.

The Answer: Many men are still upset that Zubaz pants have gone out of fashion. If you don’t remember Zubaz (And I seriously question your masculinity if you don’t), they were the outrageous, stretchy pants that bodybuilders used to wear so the back of their pants wouldn’t rip whenever they would do squats. Zubaz were everywhere back in the 90s, and they came in awesome colors, like Zebra stripe, leopard print, and even the American flag (God bless America). They were pretty much everywhere men with testosterone could be found.

But then, something began to happen in the late 90s, something horrible. People started to think that Zubaz looked ridiculous. Not since wife beaters, had men had something distinctly their own in the way of fashion, but once many women started to point out the ludicrousness of them, men couldn’t just keep wearing them anymore, could they? No, no they could not, and after awhile, men started to feel awkward walking out in public with red and white striped pants, even though all they were doing was going to their local nutrition store to pick up some protein bars and many a new girlfriend.

So you know what, this is what I think. Deep down, many men resent women when they see them wearing Uggs because we know that they look just as ridiculous wearing them as we do wearing Zubaz pants (They look like something someone would wear if they were storming the ice planet, Hoth). But since women rule fashion, it’s impossible to do anything about it. We’re stuck to just wearing Zubaz in our houses and headbanging in front of the mirror to old GnR CDs. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

1 comment:

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