Showing posts with label The Flash. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Flash. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Christopher Nolan Has Actually DOOMED DC's Cinematic Universe, Not Saved It

(Image taken from: www.comicbookmovie.com)

Christopher Nolan got quite a few Marvel fanboys upset the other day when he commented that "real" movies don't have post-credit scenes. (The director has since said that he was misquoted, which I believe). Listen, I like Christopher Nolan and always have ever since I saw his second movie, Memento.

But the truth is, Christopher Nolan has officially RUINED DC's cinematic universe rather than saved it. Let me explain. It all goes back to The Dark Knight. Sure, Batman Begins was okay, but it wasn't the touchstone film that its sequel, The Dark Knight, was. In fact, The Dark Knight created a sea change within the industry of comic book movies. After TDK, comic book films became much darker, and if they weren't dark, then they were seen as goofy and childish (Like Green Lantern, which bombed). This is a problem that has actually stuck with Warner Bros./DC and doesn't seem to be going away. While Marvel distanced itself from this concept of brooding superheroes, Warner Bros./DC seems to want to continue with the notion that if you're watching a DC movie, it's not going to be colorful and playful like a Marvel film. Man of Steel is a clear example of this.

(Image taken from: collider.com)

Instead of being bright and colorful--a real showcase of the red, the white, and blue--we instead got a much darker, both in color and in tone, picture, where Superman actually KILLS General Zod. This has caused contention with many fans of Supes, and has spelled a new era of Superman. This is an era that I will call "The Nolan Effect". Unlike "The Avengers Effect", which is all about throwing in as many characters as possible and making it one large spectacle, DC/WB is still under the impression that people want lugubrious and heavy superhero pictures. In other words, DC/WB is still trying to prove that they're NOT MARVEL. And if you want something for babies, then watch something like The Avengers. But if you want something more introspective and grown-up, come to us.

Don't believe me? Just look at this poster for Batman v. Superman:
(Image taken from: www.denofgeek.com)

I mean, jeez. More darkness? More bad times? No levity? I thought this was supposed to be SUPERMAN. Not The Crow. "It can't rain all the time," right?

So, in many ways, if DC stays with the Nolan mentality, it will effectively doom the DC Cinematic universe, as these are COMIC BOOK MOVIES. Maybe Batman can be taken seriously (I guess), but it doesn't apply for all of these other characters who are soon coming out the gate from DC. Because if something as corny as The Flash is going to be like watching a World War II movie, then they're doing wrong.

Lighten up.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Auditions Today: Super Hero

(Picture take from istockphoto.com)

Roger licks my palm and it starts to glow neon green.

“That’s pretty weak if that’s all you’ve got,” I say, wiping my hand on the side of my jeans, “Can’t you do anything else besides that? I mean, Captain Zeto’s in there. A little hand coloring isn’t going to get you into the League.”

Roger rolls his tongue in his mouth like he’s swishing around mouthwash and he spits on the street. In seconds, the ground begins to dissolve until there’s a hole in it the size of silver dollar.

“I could make it even bigger,” Roger says, smiling with green bubbles popping in-between his teeth, “but I’m saving the best for when I’m inside.”

“I’ll bet,” I say, wiping my hand on my jeans even harder now.

A red guy wearing overalls in front of us with a flaming horn in the middle of his head scoffs at this, shaking his head.

“Your friend’s right,” he says, his red horn glowing, “Those guys in der don’t want some punk who can spit acid. They ain’t lookin’ for anybody like you.”

“And who the hell are you?” Roger asks, his cheeks bulging like a bullfrog. I put my hand against my friend’s chest and I make him back up. Whoever this unicorn looking fellow is, he sure doesn’t know my friend, Roger. Even though I’ve never seen Roger’s powers before today (His mom has always been adamant that he kept them a secret, partly out of embarrassment, and partly for his own good), I’ve known him long enough to know that he has a short temper, powers or not. If this guy’s not careful, he might end up with half his face burned off.


(Image taken from Corbisimages.com)

“Me? I’m Reggie da Rhino,” he says, “And I’m gettin’ that spot in der.”

“My ass, you are,” Roger says, puffing out his chest, “And what’s your special power supposed to be anyway? Jumping over rainbows? You look like a jerk with that thing.”

“You better take that back, boy,” “Reggie da Rhino” says, pounding his fist into his hand.

“Make me,” Roger says.

“Oh, please,” somebody chimes in behind us (Phew, I didn’t want to have to break that up).
Behind us stands a man with silver hair wearing a cape and a letter J on his chest. His arms are crossed and his chin is up in the air like a Yale graduate.

“Do you honestly think that the League wants hotheads like you in their ranks?” he asks, his eyes glowing white and the air getting cool around us, “They’re looking for experience in there, not two ruffians who would likely get them on the 6:00 News for blowing up an orphanage.”

The line shuffles forward, and we unconsciously shuffle with it. The three super powered beings still stare each other down.

“You don’t look so tough,” Roger says, moving me aside, “Is that all you can do anyway? Change the weather? That’s like Storm in the X-Men, and she’s a girl. You’ve got girl powers.”

“Yeah,” Da Rhino says, slapping Roger on the shoulder like they’re best friends now, “You got girl powers.”

“I will not stoop to your level,” the silver haired man says, shutting his eyes, “Just you wait and see. You’ll be turned out of there faster than the Flash running a mile.”

“Pfft, the Flash sucks,” Roger says, the line moving up again.

“Yeah, Flash sucks,” Rhino says.

“Flash is pretty lame,” I say.

“And you are?” the white haired man asks, his eyes opening up again, “You don’t even look like you have any powers.”

“I, uh,” I stutter, my heart racing.

“He doesn’t,” Roger says, stepping in front of me, “You got a problem with that?”

“Yeah, you got a problem?” Da Rhino says, now my best friend, too, suddenly.

“Hmff, the three of you aren’t worth the trouble,” he says, and he closes his eyes again, the weather turning back to normal.

“You’re up,” a man wearing a referee shirt says to Da Rhino, and he turns around.

“Hey, wish me luck, guys,” he says to us, running into the tent with his horn glowing.

There’s the sound of an explosion inside and a bright light. But seconds later, he walks back out with his head down.

“Biggest mistake dey ever made in their lives,” he says, not looking at either of us. Behind us, we hear the silver haired man chuckle.

“You’re up,” the referee says.

“Can I bring my friend in with me?” Roger asks, “For moral support.”

“As long as you’re not a team,” he says, “The League is only looking for one new member.”

“He doesn’t even have any powers,” Roger says, “He’s normal.”

He looks me over and then points back with his thumb and we both enter the hot tent together. I start sweating immediately.

We walk down a long hallway and find the three of them—Captain Zeto, Ms. Wonderful, and Yellow Blazer—sitting at a long table together.

“What do you have to offer us?” Ms. Wonderful asks, stifling a yawn.

“This!” Roger says, and he shoots a thick blast of green slime across the room, burning a hole in their tent about the size of a trampoline.

“Is that it?” Yellow Blazer asks, shooting a beam at the tent and patching it right back up,

“Next.”

“Next?” Roger shouts, “Next!? But that was incredible! You’ve never seen a hole that big from this far away and you know you haven’t!”

“It was pedestrian street magic at best,” Captain Zeto says, “Next.”

“Come on, Roger, these guys are idiots. Let’s go.”

“Wait a minute, we haven’t seen your powers yet,” Ms. Marvel says, pointing at me.

“Who me?” I ask, “Oh, I don’t have any powers.”

All of their eyes light up at once, and they whisper to each other.

“You’re in,” Captain Zeto finally announces, “You’re just what we’re looking for. Someone who won’t show us up. Welcome to the League!”