Review: Tim and Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life

Tim and Eric's Zone Theory: 7 Easy Steps to Achieve a Perfect Life by Tim Heidecker
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I don't know how many times I've thought this, but I'll think it again. Why am I a fan of Tim and Eric? After watching Tom Goes to the Mayor, Awesome Show, Bedtime Stories, Check It Out With Dr. Steve Brule (http://www.cinemablend.com/television...), Billion Dollar Movie, and their live show, I think the only thing out of that list I truly enjoyed was Awesome Show (And mostly only season one). Oh, and their Chrimbus Special, which is how I got into them in the first place. So why do I keep watching and buying their stuff if they have such a hit-or-miss (Mostly miss) record with me? I don't know, but after reading Zone Theory in its entirety, I think I've found yet another strike out.

The problem is the writing. It's not that it's bad, it's just that it's so repetitive, especially if you've seen their other stuff. How many times are these guys going to talk about spaghetti? I mean, jeez. This is the kind of book that is funnier when you just flip through the pages at the store and are assaulted by a picture of question mark shaped penises, or the weird, distorted faces of people throughout the book. I get what they were going for here with the cult-religion stuff, and it's funny for the first few pages. But after awhile, it grows tiresome, and you probably got all you needed out of it from the amazing promo (Oh, yeah. I always love their promos, too. They're usually pretty good. But again, bite-sized Tim and Eric is better than full-length Tim and Eric).

Would I recommend this book to anybody? No. Not even Tim and Eric fans. Leaf through it at the store, get a chuckle, and then put it back down. I guess I'm just not Zone Theory material, and will never find the elusive 8th Zone (Which is fully featured in this book).

View all my reviews

Check It Out With Dr. Steve Brule Season 1 And 2 [DVD Review]

(Image taken from: Cinemablend.com)

Here's my review of another Tim and Eric production. It sucks pretty hard. Check it out here.

My Top Ten Favorite Lines That I've Stolen From TV And Movies

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There are literally HUNDREDS of catchphrases in movies and TV that are legendary today: "D'oh," "Hey, I'm walking here!" "Kiss my grits!" The list goes on and on. But this is not that list. While those phrases have persisted and become a part of the American lexicon and speech, these phrases below are personal favorites of mine that I just can't stop saying, no matter how many times I'm told to shut up already. So, here they are. My top ten favorite phrases that I've stolen from movies and TV. See if any of these make your list.

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10. "Groovy," said by Ash in Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness

So, yeah, sure, the word "Groovy," isn't exactly original material. But it's the WAY that it's said by Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead 2 and it's sequel, Army of Darkness that's so awesome. It's pretty much my substitute for the word, "Cool." And hey, even Earthworm Jim says it!

(Image taken from: thepeoplepress.com)

9. "Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance," said by Conan 'O Brien on The Simpsons

I don't dance often, but when I do, and there are other people around, I always say this line, imitating Conan's ridiculous dance in the process. Those who are not Simpsons fans are utterly baffled, and those who are, well, those people are typically my friends.

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8. "I'd buy THAT for a dollar!" said by creepy looking guy with a mustache in Robocop

It doesn't really matter what it is, if you're in a dollar store, and I'm in the same store but in another aisle, you might just hear somebody shout, "I'd buy THAT for a dollar." Yeah, that would be me.

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7. "Ooohhh, Dee Vee, I wish you were my soooooon," song by Tim and Eric on the Chrimbus Special

This is actually a pretty recent one. I can't get this song out of my head and I sometimes sing it to my fiance, even though her name is not Dee Vee and I don't wish she was my son.

(Image taken from: unrealitymag.com)

6. "I'll be back, Bennett," said by John Matrix in Commando

Every bad guy should wear chain mail underneath their coat, and no bad guy is as hardcore as Bennett. So whenever somebody pisses me off and they're closing their car door, I make sure that open it back up, peek my head in, and deliver this groovy line. It strikes fear in the hearts of men every time.

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5. "Ahhhh?" said by David Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China

If I didn't quite hear what you said, you get an "Ahhhh?" with my hand to my ear. End of story.

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4. "Terminate...with extreme prejudice," said by Jerry, a CIA Civilian in Apocalypse Now

I hate centipedes. And while I can't kill them on my own, unless they're babies, I always make somebody else do it. And when I do, I say this line...From the other room, of course.

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3. "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women," said by Conan in Conan the Barbarian

It's unreal how much mileage I get out of this line. And I don't only use it when people ask me my thoughts on the meaning of life, either, but also for other things as well. Like when somebody asks me, "How was work today?" I always say, "I crushed my enemies, saw them driven before me, and heard the lamentation of their women. What's for dinner?" I mean, what else could I possibly say?

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2. "What ain't no country I ever heard of," said by Jules in Pulp Fiction

I actually like to lure people into this line, which is kind of a dick thing to do, I know. But usually, I like to say something really low so that the person I'm talking to has to lean in close and say "What?" which is when I deliver this line. Usually, in a shouting manner.

(Image taken from: crownofthewire.blogspot.com)

1. "Sheeeeeeiiittt," said by Clay Davis in The Wire

I probably say this line at least once a day. It's definitely the most accessible of all the lines on this list (I mean, how many times do YOU say "shit" in a given day?). I try to elongate the word for as long as possible, sometimes, until I actually have to take a breath. And you KNOW that that's a good "Sheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt," if I had to take a breath.



What are some of YOUR favorite lines?