Arachnophobia Review [Blu-Ray]

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Here's my review of the horrible, horrible movie Arachnophobia, which was recently released on Blu-Ray. Check it out here.

The Avengers [Blu-Ray] Review

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The Avengers is probably my favorite movie of 2012. See my review of the Blu-Ray disc here.

Why Breaking Bad and Not Homeland Should Have Won Best Drama

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I have nothing against the show Homeland. I mean, I don't find it interesting--The two or three episodes I saw didn't grip me--but there are a lot of shows I don't enjoy but still respect, like Mad Men. It's good enough, I guess. The critics like it. That's fine.

But there is no way Homeland should have won best drama last night at the Emmys. Not in a million years. When you have a show like Breaking Bad, which until last half-season, had the best season in television history with season 4, there really is no competition. In fact, while watching season 4, I had a giddy smile on my face the entire time since I knew it was finally going to be BB's year to win best drama. How could it not when it was changing the landscape of television forever with the war between Gus and Walt?

But then, it didn't win, and mostly because the new flavor of the year was around. What bull! The same thing happened with Lost on its first season. Granted, the first season of that show was pretty damn good, but best drama of the year? I'm not going to go to those lengths.

The problem is that the Emmys never award the best show when it comes to drama. The Wire, which is undoubtedly the second greatest show in history after Breaking Bad, never won best drama, either, which doesn't make any sense. Years from now, people will look at BB the same way they look at The Wire, which is as the textbook definition of greatness. With comedy, the Emmys are usually spot-on--Arrested Development would win constantly, even though it didn't do well ratings wise--but drama, not so much. It's as bad as the Academy Awards when it comes to judging in that field. The judges suck.

What smells worse when not washed for a day? Armpits or crotches?

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It's the age old question: What smells worse when you don't shower for a day, your armpits or your crotch? I think the answer differs for males and females. Since females don't fart, have BO, or do number 2 (Scientific fact), they can probably go days, or even months, without bathing. In fact, if I were a female reader of this post (I know there might be at least one of you out there), I would try it. How long can you go without bathing and still get away with it in public? I think the answer may surprise you!

But for men, the answer is not so crystal clear. Unbeknownst to women (Or at least my wife), a man's balls (Or, bawls, as the intellectuals like to call them) start to smell REALLY bad if you don't wash them for longer than a day. In fact, according to research I've done after RPG marathons, I've found that my man purse smells about 80% more if it sits in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles briefs for more than 24 hours. Eighty percent! That's a high figure!

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But wait! There's more! I've also realized though that my pits smell pretty vile, too, if I don't wash them as well, even with Old Spice coating them. After a day, the stink molecules start to build up and collect until not even my own mother would hug me. That's pretty bad!

(Image taken from: goodenoughmother.com)

So, what's the answer then? Well, I'm going to have to go with my downtown district. You see, maybe it's the underwear I'm wearing, or maybe it's the fact that I work out, but it can get quite sweaty in the region and it's also smothered up. So the answer is that China smells worse when you don't bathe for a day, not Canada. Now aren't you glad you read this piece? No, well, you read it, and you can't unread it. Sorry.

Comiiiiiics!

 For all those following along, the comics section of my book, The Darkness of the Womb, gets updated every week around noon on Sunday's. The latest chapter is up. Please give it a gander here.

The Darkness of the Womb

The website for my book, The Darkness of the Womb, has some new comics and podcasts up. Check it out here.

Review: Judge Dredd [Blu-Ray]

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Hey, everybody. Check out my review of the original Judge Dredd movie here. I gave it four stars out of five. I'm dead serious. Read the review and find out why.