My Top Ten Favorite TV Characters Of All Time

While I'm no Alan Sepinwall, I do like to think that I watch an unhealthy amount of television. And to me, there's nothing more important to a TV show than its characters. Here's a list of my favorite TV characters of all time. Do any of mine make your list?

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10. Bruh Man from Martin

Bruh Man (From the 5th flo) was just another crazy character in a show with a multitude of crazy characters (Many of whom who were played by Martin Lawrence himself). But Bruh Man was different, and any time he'd come through Martin's window uninvited, you knew something insane but hilarious was going to come out of his mouth. Definitely my favorite character on the show. No question.

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9. Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon

The feistiest of all the Sailor Scouts, Sailor Mars was like the Raphael (The Ninja Turtle, not the painter) of the group. She wouldn't take crap from Sabrina and was definitely the hottest of all the scouts with her black hair and red miniskirt. In later years, I found that I would flock to bad girls like Sailor Mars, but I would never hook up with them. They just weren't my type. Only on TV, only on TV.

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8. Proposition Joe From The Wire

Most people would probably cite Omar or Stringer Bell as their favorite character from The Wire, but, nope, not me. That position would go directly to Prop Joe, who was always my favorite character on the show. I just loved everything about him. I loved his nuggets of wisdom, his hair style, and even the way he would lean back in his seat, like a boss, and intertwine his fingers on his gut. He was a background character to be sure, but an important one. I would always smile whenever he made an appearance on the show. RIP, big dog.

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7. Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Raphael was cool, but rude (Gimmie a break!), which is the reason why I loved him. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, the turtles played a huge part in my life, and Raphael was my absolute favorite. He was the rebel, the jerk, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Leonardo was definitely the leader, but Raphael was the one I always pretended to be on the playground. Gotta love those sais.

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6. Al Bundy from Married With Children

Looking back, I honestly can't believe my dad used to let me watch Married With Children when I was younger, but I'm glad he did, because I got to see one of the greatest TV dads in modern history was Al Bundy. Al was a true man of his era, and he was proud of it. Whether he was talking about scoring the final touchdown in high school or complaining about the fat chicks at his job, Al Bundy was always captivating and hilarious to watch. No, Peg.

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5. Brisco from The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.

While I know it's cool to love Firefly and Captain Malcolm Reynolds, I'll take Brisco Country Jr. any day of the week over it. You may ask, why I would make such a comparison, but I make it for a number of reasons. One is because both Firefly and Brisco County were westerns (Firefly was just a western in space), and two, it's debatable who's the better cult hero--Nathan Fillion or Bruce Campbell, and for my money, I'd going with Bruce Campbell. This was the TV role that defined him and it's why Brisco County is one of my favorite TV characters of all time. You can never get enough of the chin.

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4. Jack Bauer from 24

Before it got terrible, I used to LOVE 24. Absolutely love it. And the reason behind that love was squarely because of Jack Bauer, who was the toughest SOB on network TV. He would torture people to get what he needed and you just knew he'd make it out alive in the end. He even beat heroin in a single day. Jack Bauer, you're so cool.

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3. Homer Simpson from The Simpsons

The Simpsons might be all but unwatchable now, but back in its heyday, it was the best show on TV, bar none. And behind the laughter was Homer Simpson, who was the most dysfunctional father on television. What makes Homer so great is that he's such a moron, but entirely lovable at the same time. You can't hate him no matter what he does, even if it's strangling his own son. No other character in television history could get away with that before him. He's America's favorite dummy, a monkey that can talk.

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2. Tony Soprano from The Sopranos

Probably the most complex character to ever grace TV (Outside of my number one pick), Tony Soprano had issues, and that's why America loved him. Sure, he was the head of a NJ crime family, but what made people take notice was that Tony had probably more problems at home than he did in running his business. Played straight by James Gandolfini, Tony Soprano was fascinating in every single aspect of the word. RIP, Gandolfini. Your legacy will live on forever in your portrayal of Tony Soprano.

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1. Walter White from Breaking Bad

Anybody who knows me would have known this pick was coming a mile away. Walter White is the greatest character in television history because he had the most growth over the course of his five seasons. From mild-mannered teacher to child-poisoning scumbag, Walter White showed that every man has a dark side. It's the choice that matters, and Walter White made some of the worst and most intriguing ones. Best. Character. Ever.

Why Breaking Bad and Not Homeland Should Have Won Best Drama

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I have nothing against the show Homeland. I mean, I don't find it interesting--The two or three episodes I saw didn't grip me--but there are a lot of shows I don't enjoy but still respect, like Mad Men. It's good enough, I guess. The critics like it. That's fine.

But there is no way Homeland should have won best drama last night at the Emmys. Not in a million years. When you have a show like Breaking Bad, which until last half-season, had the best season in television history with season 4, there really is no competition. In fact, while watching season 4, I had a giddy smile on my face the entire time since I knew it was finally going to be BB's year to win best drama. How could it not when it was changing the landscape of television forever with the war between Gus and Walt?

But then, it didn't win, and mostly because the new flavor of the year was around. What bull! The same thing happened with Lost on its first season. Granted, the first season of that show was pretty damn good, but best drama of the year? I'm not going to go to those lengths.

The problem is that the Emmys never award the best show when it comes to drama. The Wire, which is undoubtedly the second greatest show in history after Breaking Bad, never won best drama, either, which doesn't make any sense. Years from now, people will look at BB the same way they look at The Wire, which is as the textbook definition of greatness. With comedy, the Emmys are usually spot-on--Arrested Development would win constantly, even though it didn't do well ratings wise--but drama, not so much. It's as bad as the Academy Awards when it comes to judging in that field. The judges suck.

Breaking Bad Is Seriously the Greatest Show Ever Made

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I've said it at least over a 100 times in conversation and on Facebook, but I have to get it all out there in a blog post. Breaking Bad is simply the greatest show ever made. And I've seen a lot of great shows, drama and comedy alike.

Many would argue that The Wire or The Sopranos or even Mad Men are the greatest shows to ever grace TV. And while I've never seen more than five episodes of Mad Men (More because I haven't gotten the time, not because of the quality of the show), I can say that I have seen the entirety of The Wire and The Sopranos and I still stand by my decision--Neither can touch BB.

The main reason for this is not so simple. While yes, Bryan Cranston is certainly the most captivating actor on television now and possibly ever, it's not just him that makes the show great. For a show like The Sopranos, yeah sure, it could be said that the main character carries the whole thing. I remember when there was actually speculation that Tony might be killed on the show. Well, if that ever happened, then the show would have gone right down the terlet. The other characters were enjoyable, but none of them had the nuances or the depth that Tony Soprano had. I mean, who would have led the show if he had died? This guy?

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Yeah, right. Great show, but without Tony, it would have been lost. As for The Wire, well, I think that was a great case study for the streets and everything that functions around them. Don't get me wrong, each season of the show was unique and brought something thought provoking and entrancing to television like no other show has before it or since. And if you were to ask me the second greatest show to ever be on TV, I'd definitely say The Wire.

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It shined a direct light on a city with problems and didn't give any solutions whatsoever. It was real, man. Damn real. And excellent, too. But for me, the city of Baltimore, which was the REAL main character, just wasn't as gripping as even a SINGLE character on BB, where every single moment of screen time for anybody is meaningful and will impact the show at a later date.

I mean, just look at the character arc of Gus this season. The show may still center around Walt, but this is the season of Gus, no question.

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If Gus were to die, I think that would leave a huge gaping hole in the show like no other program on television before it. In most shows, characters are expendable. Just look at Omar in The Wire. Sure, it was toward the end of the series run when he died (And oh, spoiler alert). But while his death was shocking, by the end of the episode, you were over it. This is again because the show was more about the streets and the cyclical nature of it, i.e., While Omar may be gone, another rogue gangster will take his place in the future with Michael (The one who killed Snoop in the car). Again, I applaud The Wire's deep approach to the streets, but with BB, well, EVERYBODY means something to the show.

In all truths, BB is not a particularly deep show, but it's entertaining beyond measure. Never has a show balanced comedy with searing drama before like BB has (One minute, Hank is cracking me up, and the next, Walt is making it hard not to tear up when he misses his own son's birthday and calls him a different name when he comes over to see if he's okay).

No other show has pacing like BB. No other show has characters like BB, and no other show is quite simply, as fun to watch as BB. I mean, just watch this intro to one of its best episodes.



What show STARTS an episode like that? I cannot miss a single second of a single episode because I might miss something like that at the start of it. The only thing BB has going against it is that it's still on the air. A lot can happen that can make me change my mind about the show if it has an awful conclusion to it (Like Walt dies of cancer or Jesse kills Walt). But BB has been anything but predictable or boring. I have faith in the show and look forward to its ending so I CAN say with confidence (And with Alan Sepinwall's agreement) that it's the greatest show that ever was on TV. Now, if only more people would watch it. From the beginning, of course. Did I mention Walt is a different character completely in every single season? What growth! What storytelling.

My Top Ten Favorite Lines That I've Stolen From TV And Movies

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There are literally HUNDREDS of catchphrases in movies and TV that are legendary today: "D'oh," "Hey, I'm walking here!" "Kiss my grits!" The list goes on and on. But this is not that list. While those phrases have persisted and become a part of the American lexicon and speech, these phrases below are personal favorites of mine that I just can't stop saying, no matter how many times I'm told to shut up already. So, here they are. My top ten favorite phrases that I've stolen from movies and TV. See if any of these make your list.

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10. "Groovy," said by Ash in Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness

So, yeah, sure, the word "Groovy," isn't exactly original material. But it's the WAY that it's said by Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead 2 and it's sequel, Army of Darkness that's so awesome. It's pretty much my substitute for the word, "Cool." And hey, even Earthworm Jim says it!

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9. "Sit perfectly still. Only I may dance," said by Conan 'O Brien on The Simpsons

I don't dance often, but when I do, and there are other people around, I always say this line, imitating Conan's ridiculous dance in the process. Those who are not Simpsons fans are utterly baffled, and those who are, well, those people are typically my friends.

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8. "I'd buy THAT for a dollar!" said by creepy looking guy with a mustache in Robocop

It doesn't really matter what it is, if you're in a dollar store, and I'm in the same store but in another aisle, you might just hear somebody shout, "I'd buy THAT for a dollar." Yeah, that would be me.

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7. "Ooohhh, Dee Vee, I wish you were my soooooon," song by Tim and Eric on the Chrimbus Special

This is actually a pretty recent one. I can't get this song out of my head and I sometimes sing it to my fiance, even though her name is not Dee Vee and I don't wish she was my son.

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6. "I'll be back, Bennett," said by John Matrix in Commando

Every bad guy should wear chain mail underneath their coat, and no bad guy is as hardcore as Bennett. So whenever somebody pisses me off and they're closing their car door, I make sure that open it back up, peek my head in, and deliver this groovy line. It strikes fear in the hearts of men every time.

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5. "Ahhhh?" said by David Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China

If I didn't quite hear what you said, you get an "Ahhhh?" with my hand to my ear. End of story.

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4. "Terminate...with extreme prejudice," said by Jerry, a CIA Civilian in Apocalypse Now

I hate centipedes. And while I can't kill them on my own, unless they're babies, I always make somebody else do it. And when I do, I say this line...From the other room, of course.

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3. "Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women," said by Conan in Conan the Barbarian

It's unreal how much mileage I get out of this line. And I don't only use it when people ask me my thoughts on the meaning of life, either, but also for other things as well. Like when somebody asks me, "How was work today?" I always say, "I crushed my enemies, saw them driven before me, and heard the lamentation of their women. What's for dinner?" I mean, what else could I possibly say?

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2. "What ain't no country I ever heard of," said by Jules in Pulp Fiction

I actually like to lure people into this line, which is kind of a dick thing to do, I know. But usually, I like to say something really low so that the person I'm talking to has to lean in close and say "What?" which is when I deliver this line. Usually, in a shouting manner.

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1. "Sheeeeeeiiittt," said by Clay Davis in The Wire

I probably say this line at least once a day. It's definitely the most accessible of all the lines on this list (I mean, how many times do YOU say "shit" in a given day?). I try to elongate the word for as long as possible, sometimes, until I actually have to take a breath. And you KNOW that that's a good "Sheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt," if I had to take a breath.



What are some of YOUR favorite lines?