Eating Out in Chester: Bagel Cafe

(Image taken from: thisweekfordinner.com)

There are plenty of bagel shops where you can get other items besides bagels from the menu. But how many of those same bagel shops can you also get a falafel?

“It’s freshly made here,” owner Abby Hassan says, “We have chick peas, and the fresh Tahini sauce, and the fresh pita bread.”

“A lot of customers asked for it,” Hassan continues, “It’s really fresh.”

Expect to hear that word “fresh” a lot here when talking to Mr. Hassan about his shop, as everything here is made fresh on the premises; Especially the bagels.

“Our bagel recipe is unique,” Hassan says, “It’s a very expensive recipe, and we use brown sugar and bake it with whole grain flour right in the bagels.”

One of the most famous of their bagels is the harvest grain, which has some interesting ingredients in it.

“It has whole grain flour with carrots and raisins,” Hassan says.

They also have the pumpernickel, which is made with real pumpernickel flour, and the whole wheat, which is made with real honey.

But as mentioned earlier, bagels aren’t all they sell here. Along with the falafels, they also have a full case of deli meats if you’re hankering for a sandwich.

“We use Boar’s Head meat,” Hassan says, “It practically sells itself.”

They also make great wraps with these meats, such as the California wrap or their balsamic chicken wrap with fresh mozzarella, tomato, lettuce, avocado and grilled balsamic chicken.

And let’s not forget their stellar soups.

“Our famous soups are the lentil soup and the chicken noodle,” Hassan says, “And as for our cream soups, we have the cream of tomato and the cream of tomato leeks.”

Also on hand are their cheeseburgers, mozzarella sticks, and chicken fingers, which they slap right down on their fryers.

“A lot of it is for the kids,” Hassan says.

Also nice is that you don’t even have to come down here if you’re in the area and want to get a lot of different items for groups. They’ll actually come to you.

“We do a lot of catering for offices around us, and we do a lot of churches for bagels on Sundays,” Hassan says, “A lot of offices request us for catering, and if it’s for breakfast, it’s usually bagels with cream cheese. And if it’s lunch, people usually prefer wraps.”

Or falafels, if that’s your sort of thing. At the Bagel Café, you have options. And what could be better than that?

###
BAGEL CAFE
WHERE: 233 US Highway, 206 N, Chester
TELEPHONE NUMBER: 908-879-8988
HOURS: 5:30AM-4:00PM, Monday-Friday, 5:30AM-3:00PM, Saturday and Sunday
CUISINE: Bagels and Deli
PAYMENT: Cash and all major credit cards except Discover
DRESS: Casual
THE SCENE: This bagel shop and deli has nothing but fresh food, and even some falafels, which are hard to come by in the area
ATMOSPHERE: With great bagels, comfortable seating, and a friendly atmosphere, you can’t go wrong with the Bagel Cafe
CATERING: Yes
PARKING: Large lot
OWNER: Abby Hassan

Which is Better?

Yoda's music career?

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Or Spock's?

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This old woman's neck?

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Or a loaf of bread?

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Time Lord?

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Or Time Cop?

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Sex?

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Or the McRib Sandwich?

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I Actually Prefer The Cleveland Show to Family Guy Now. Seriously

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When I first saw Family Guy back in the late 90s--and yes, it really does go back that far--it was like nothing I had ever seen before. The cut-away gags, the references to the Kool-Ade man, the talking baby and dog, it was probably the funniest first episode I had ever seen in my entire life. And then...the show was cancelled. Sure, it took FOX three seasons to git-r-done because of poor ratings, but eventually, they did, and people were upset. That is, of course, until it was brought back from the grave because of sterling DVD sales, making it the first show in history to ever be broke back once it was cancelled (Futurama later followed suit).

Now, if you ask me, and a lot of FG fans, the show has never been as good as those first three seasons. Maybe it was the originality of it or maybe it was just funnier, I don't know. Whatever the reason though, FG is nowhere NEAR as great as it was in those early years. Nowhere near. But it's weird. Unlike The Simpsons, where the difference in quality is staggering, the differences in FG from the beginning to now are slight, which leads me to believe that it just doesn't seem as original anymore. Maybe it's run out of gas. Or maybe I've just grown out of it.

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And then, you have The Cleveland Show, which had a debut that was almost as bad as American Dad's. Almost, I said. Like American Dad, which also came from the mind of Seth MacFarlane, the first thing that I hated about The Cleveland Show was the characters. Every single one of them sucked. It seemed like after FG, there had to be a talking animal of some sort, possibly a talking baby, and a similar family dynamic of crazy dad, and grounded mom. It was FG all over again, but lighter, and less funny. TCS seemed like it would follow the same path as AD--though, I hear that AD has since gotten pretty good since its awful debut--but then, it didn't. Sure, the first season of TCS was awful. So was the first season of Seinfeld, but TCS has really hit its stride now, and I laugh even harder with it than I do with FG. With less cut-aways, the pacing is better, and with more story going on, the characters get more screen time and are thus, we get to know them better. If anything, I'd say that TCS is a mixture of both AD and FG, making it a nice little blend. I really think I like it.

I even like the theme song better than FG's. Listen.



It's catchier.

So, whether TCS stays funny for the remainder of the season is yet to be seen, but I can definitely say that it's improved quite a bit. I'm hoping for the best. Animation Domination would really blow without it. Bob's Burgers, notwithstanding.

I Liked Rango Better Than the Oscar-Nominated, True Grit

Best picture nominee, True Grit disappointed me in a lot of ways. First off, it was advertised as some grisly, badass western with the Dude shooting people whilst drunk. It looked like a great horse opera. It looked like this:



Unfortunately, it wasn't that. It wasn't that at all. Remember that cool scene in the trailer where the guy was wearing a bear suit? Well, that scene sucked in the movie. Same with the scene where Matt Damon was talking about being a US Marshal. In the movie, he was a joke that was getting knocked around all over the place. I guess those who liked the movie were expecting a Coen Bros. film similar to Fargo in that it was as funny as it was serious. But I wasn't expecting that and I think a lot of others weren't expecting that either. They were expecting the dead seriousness of No Country For Old Men, and left the theater upset. I was definitely one of those people. True Grit was a total bore for me.

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But you know what surprisingly wasn't a total bore? Rango, which I'm now surprisingly in love with and think was an even better western than True Grit.

Now, before you start going on and on about how I'm an idiot and how Rango was merely paying tribute to all of the familiar western tropes, I just want to say that I know all that. I know Rango was just aping other westerns, and I don't care. What bothered me most about the story of True Grit is that it's not Rooster Cogburn's story, but rather, Mattie Ross'. Now, I don't know if the original movie's story is centered on her, too, since I know John Wayne was in that version, and John Wayne, who won an Oscar for the role, overshadows everybody else in all of his films. But I do know that if it was about Mattie Ross like the novel surely was, then I'm sure that that version sucked, too. And that's because Westerns, and I'm not trying to be a misogynist or anything like that, but Westerns are not meant to be about the women. They're meant to be about the men of the west and I think that's where Rango prevailed where True Grit faltered.

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I actually never really even liked Westerns until I took a college class on them, and the professor taught me that for it to be a genuine Western, then it typically followed three things. One, it had to feature a hero who had to prove something, not only to himself but to the whole community. Two, the big bad typically had to come to the town and the hero had to step up and defeat them (Though, the great, The Searchers follows a slightly different path, which is actually more similar to True Grit than anything else that I can think of). And three, there had to be some technological advancement--in most cases, it was the locomotive--that threatened to end the seclusion of the west and thus, the end of the cowboy. It was meant to be a morose transition, one of a dying breed of man. This last feature wasn't in all Westerns, but it definitely increased the significance of whatever film it was in.

Take for example a masterpiece like, High Noon, which has all three of those factors invovled. It truly feels like a Western and it is, and also so much more (Many say that there are ties to it critiquing the Red Scare that was going on at the time).



And you know what? Rango followed all those steps, too, making it, for me at least, superior to True Grit. I didn't go into the theater expecting to see a Western, but I saw one, and it was great. Rango was the reluctant hero who made a name for himself, while the big, bad and uglies came to take him down. There's even the theme of advancement as Las Vegas shines heavily in the backdrop (See the movie to understand).

It may not have been the most by the books Western--there's a cameo by Raul Duke and Dr. Gonzo from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in it--but it's definitely one of the more fun. So skip True Grit and watch Rango. That's really what's up.

The Top Ten Ways to Say WTF Without Saying WTF

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WTF, or, "What the Frak!" to Battlestar Galactica fans, and "What the -expletive deleted-" to everybody else, is ubiquitous these days. So much so, that it's actually losing some of its awesomeness. Note: If my own mother, who watches nothing but Law and Order reruns and Judge Judy knows what it means, then it's lost its power.

So, how about using something other than those three letters that have become synonymous with everything from finding out that your favorite show has been cancelled to seeing a fat man on a motorcycle that could probably fit a family of four?

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So, without further ado, here are my top ten ways to say WTF without actually saying WTF. Try them out some time, and be the envy of all of your friends. Or none of your friends. Conformity is popular these days, after all.

10. Naw, son. Naw.

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Calling something or someone "Son," who is clearly not your son has been a fun habit for quite some time now for both urban and suburban youths. The "Naw, son. Naw" WTF is a good one to use when you're in a state of quiet disbelief, like, "Did you know that Firefly was taken off the air?"

Naw, son. Naw.

It really does take the edge off. Try it some time.

9. Huh?! What?!

I got this one from Big trouble in Little China. In a pivotal scene in the film, Jack Burton and his crew are creeping through the sewers when suddenly, a giant, ant like thingy comes out of nowhere and kills one of the members of the entourage.

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Egg Shen, the guide for the group, takes out these little ball thingies and shouts, "You come out no more!" and throws it at it, causing it to explode. After this happens, Jack Burton goes, "HUH? WHAT?! What comes out no more?!" So this variation of WTF can be used for an angry scream, like, if you have your car broken into or you find out that your girlfriend has been cheating on you with a cardboard cutout of Legolas from The Lord of the Rings. Use the volume with discretion, though. You don't want to shout this TOO loudly. People in the other room might think that you're deaf or something.

8. Ribet, Ribet, I can't hold it

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This one comes from the bathroom level of the first Parappa the Rapper. In it, Master Prince Fleaswallow (And yes, that is his name) is lamenting the fact that the last toilet that he had, he already sold it. So, yeah, WTF, man, with a FML added on for good measure. Make sure you say this with a Jamaican accent to be authentic.



7. Nooooooo!

You ever have the urge to just throw your head back and yell, WTF, man! Well, why do that when you can spread out your arms, ham it up and just say, "NOOOOOOOO!" instead? Hey, it worked for Vader. Or did it?




6. Get outta here, man. Get out!

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Seeing somebody catch a football with their helmet is a HUGE WTF moment. But say you have kids in the house and were a Patriots fan, say, in 2008. Do you see where I'm going with this? Instead of shouting those three words at the screen, screaming, "Get outta here, man. Get out!" followed by a strange, Ric Flair strut around the room, would probably be more appropriate. Taking off all your clothes and doing an elbow drop is optional, though.



5. Well, I'll be a monkey's landlord

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This is one of those, "Why bother," WTF's. Like, "Well, I'll be a monkey's landlord. I'm going to die one day anyway, so I might as well just start today with my fifth pack of smokes. Cough cough." Something like that.






4. Well, blow my nose!

This is another one that's sort of an exclamation of, WTF did I just see? It can usually be followed by the thing that somebody should be blowing your nose over, like, "Well, blow my nose, is that kid REALLY smoking a cigarette, or is the pic below just photoshopped? Dang. That's messed up if it's true."

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3. What in tarnation?!

Another surprised one, but this one is much more forceful. It's like WTF, you like HER? But instead, it sounds more like, "What in tarnation, you like her?!" See? Isn't that more interesting? You'll be a regular old coot in no time. I promise.

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2. What in blue blazes?

This is one of those, you left your house for the weekend only to come back and find a naked guy sitting on your couch and smoking from a bong, moments. This one is also good if you wear a monocle, because said monocle can fly off your face and into your champagne glass. This one's a keeper.

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1. What in Sam Hill?!?!

Is Sam Hill a person? A place? Wikipedia says that it's a euphemism for the Devil, as in, "What the Devil?" But I think it's a euphemism for something else. And I think you know what that something else I'm talking about is. The F dash, dash, dash word, making it my favorite WTF substitute of all time. It's just so OUT there, and it makes you look like Fog horn Leghorn. You look out of your mind, which is something I'm always interested in looking like. Out of my mind. Try it next time you get the urge to SCREAM FTW. You'll feel all the more better for it.

Eating Out in Chester: The Black River Candy Shoppe

(Image taken from: Candyfavorites.com)

Steve Jones, owner of The Black River Candy Shoppe in Chester, has the lucky circumstance to have a job where he gets to see people smiling all day. And since his shop is the only one for miles on end, he gets to see people all over the place smiling, and not just from Chester.

“I think we’re unique in that there’s nothing like us anywhere close by,” Jones says, “so we have people coming up from Staten Island, and down around Montclair and Hoboken, and New York City on a regular basis, because we’re unique.”

Unique doesn’t even begin to describe it. Pez dispensers line the walls, old candies from your childhood like wax bottles and Gold Mine Bubble Gum sit with newer brands, and barrels literally are stocked with sweets. You might not find anything else like this for the rest of your life.

“We’re always getting new candies,” Jones says, “I mean, candies come and go almost on a weekly basis.”

Of those candies, they have a wide assortment that is all over the board from soft, to hard, to chewy, to sour. If you like it and it’s modern and popular, most likely, they probably have it.

“We have over 900 items that people can choose from,” Jones says.

Jones is originally from the pharmaceutical industry, but felt that he wanted a change.

“I had some acquaintances in North Carolina that had very similar stores going back 25 years ago,” Jones says, “and I just kind of liked the idea and always thought it would be a good fit for Chester.”

And it’s been a great fit for Chester. For the past 12 years now, Jones has been in the area and keeping track of some of the most popular candies on the market that the kids are into these days. So along with the nostalgic candies that you can pick up, you can pick up what your kids crave as well.

“Gummies are still real big for kids,” Jones says, “Sour candies are [also] still going extremely well.”

“Another thing that’s coming on now is that folks are doing a lot with chocolate that they didn’t use to do,” Jones continues, “They have chocolate with wine, chocolate with chilies, all that kind of crazy stuff that you didn’t see years ago, so that’s something that’s certainly new and becoming more popular all the time.”

Along with the website for the shop, he also assists those who are looking to put together a candy bar for special occasions.

“I don’t cater, but people come in and say, ‘We’re doing a candy bar for a wedding reception, and we’re probably going to have 10 candies,’” Jones says, “They usually have a color theme or a flavor theme, and I work with folks, and a lot of times, they’ll bring in their containers, and we’ll fill some and find out how many quantities they need.”

And seriously, how sweet is that?

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BLACK RIVER CANDY SHOPPE
WHERE: 44 Main Street, Chester
TELEPHONE NUMBER: (908) 879-1233
HOURS: Tuesday-Saturday: 10AM-5:00PM, Sunday: 11AM-5:00PM
CUISINE: Candy, Chocolate
PAYMENT: Cash, all major credit cards
DRESS: Casual
THE SCENE: This fun shoppe has barrels with candy and Pez dispensers on the wall. It’s a sight!
ATMOSPHERE: A friendly staff will happily help you want candy you’re looking for
PARKING: In the lot
OWNER: Steve Jones

Operation Beard Growth Complete: Bring the Troops Home

I'm going to be honest with you. After the first month of Bearduary, I wanted out. Badly. I used to grow a beard on a yearly basis back in college, but after shaving on a weekly basis for the past two years now, I just can't take it anymore. Having a beard is miserable. Your hair gets in your mouth, little kids think you're 20 years older, and bears want to wrestle you, mistaking you for Zangief.

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It's the pits.

But I have to tell you, shearing a beard is one of the most liberating experiences you can ever have in your life, besides actually being liberated, of course. It's a wonderful experience, and makes growing a beard all the more worth it in the end. I think I'll do it again next year. And maybe cut me out a Fu manchu at the end. We'll see. Pictures of the clean shaven me below. Check it out, androids.