You'll Read This in the Morning-Five Reasons Why San Francisco is Better Than Jersey

San Francisco is better than New Jersey, no question. And not by only a little but by a lot. More than by five reasons, even, but I'm tired, my eyes are bloodshot (I still don't know why exactly) and it's late here and even later there, so here are five reasons why San Fran is better than Jersey. All of them true. Damn true, actually, damn true.

5. People are just nicer here

I've lived in Jersey for so long, that I've almost forgotten the the entire human race isn't full of sleazebags and Beiber wannabees. The people in San Fran all ride bikes and they're all nice, saying things like "Sorry," when they have to pass you and "Thank you," when you compliment them on their tye dye shirts or their exotic ponytails. Even the bums are nice. Seriously! Good people here, good people.

4. The buses all have schedules that you can depend on

You know how in New York and New Jersey the public transportation comes at "Any damn time we feel like getting there" o'clock? Well, here in San Fran, you know EXACTLY when the buses are coming because there's actually a timer at all of the bus stops that tell you when the buses are coming, and they're dependable and accurate, too. I'm hoping that the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse comes up on it soon so that I know exactly when I should be buying a surplus of beans for my bomb shelter. I need to get prepared, you know.

3. The weather here is be-you-ti-ful

San Fran is just sheer gorgeous. Everywhere you look, you're just like, "Gee, the weather here is nice, by gum." But in Jersey, all I've ever said about the weather is, "Snow can go to hell," or, "This is nice, but we deserve it, cause the snow here is brutal, and snow can go to hell." But here, I'm told the weather is great all year round, so suck on that, Jersey. Suck on that.

2. Landkmarks galore

Fisherman's Wharf, Castro St, the Golden gate Bridge, the opening shot of Full House, the set location for Big Trouble in Little China-Seriously, if you're a touristy kind of tourist like myself, all camera ready and annoying, then you will ADORE San Fran. There's shit all over the place and then some. I have blisters on me toeses (Rhymes with roses. Or Moses), I've been walking so much. Definitely a place to remember. Definitely.

1. The hills are like roller coasters

Possibly my favorite part about San Fran is that the whole city is like one enormous roller coaster, as cars and buses go up and down hills with such ease that you think you're on El Toro with some of these drops. I even put my hands up when I was on the bus, but put them back down quickly, because people were looking at me. Sorry, folks.

More on San Fran soon, and pictures! The internet at the hotel is too slow for that. More to come.