Well, lookit you, man. You’ve changed! We remember you back
in high school. Don’t front. You were the one trading lunch money for Mewtoo on
your Pokemon game. Yeah, we remember. But look at you now. All cool and shit.
Dressed for success and reading Complex. Good for you. But not everybody’s made
such a smooth transition into adulthood. Some have actually made embarrassing
leaps, especially when it comes to video games, where the rate of success for
change is usually (Note we said “usually”) slim to none. Here are 10 such
examples. Warning: Some of them aren’t pretty.
(Image taken from: sonicthehedgehoggame.org)
10. Sonic the
Hedgehog
If Sonic Generations has done anything, it’s proven just how
much we miss the old Sonic. The old Sonic was fast, he was chubby, and most
importantly, he didn’t say a damn word. But the new Sonic, well, he just won’t
shut up. Oh, and he kicks it with humans, too.
Because nothing says “awesome” like interspecies dating.
(Image taken from: thehomefield.blogspot.com)
9. Pac-Man
Wait, Pac-man? How did he change, you ask. Well, you must
have missed out on Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures. Our pellet chomping hero went
from being chased by ghosts in a death arena, to walking around town and
throwing litter in a trash receptacle. The life of a citizen is fine for some,
but for Pac-Man? No way, man, no way. You’ve gone soft, dude. Like a pillow.
(Image taken from: forums.gametrailers.com)
8. Poison
One of the greatest traps in the business, Poison went from
being a hot biker chick in Final Fight, to a man, to a, well, we’re not quite
sure anymore. But whatever “she” is, good for her. Be as bad as you wanna be,
baby. We ain’t gonna hate.
(Image taken from: kappalphaiota.wordpress.com)
7. The Prince
How do you make a sequel to a very successful game? Well, if
you asked us, we’d say fix some nagging issues, add in new levels and stick a
bow on it. And voila, instant sequel. But Ubisoft Montreal wasn’t having any of
that. They decided to take the very likeable Prince from The Sands of Time
(“Car-full. Think a-head.”) to an angst ridden emo child of the 90s in a 2005
game. Um, way to go?
(Image taken from: mortalkombat.wikia.com)
6. Sub-Zero
He started out as a regular ninja in the first two games.
Then he took his mask off in the third game to show off a cool scar. Then he put
the mask back on. And now…he’s a robot. Good Lord, he transforms more than
Michael Jackson in the movie, Moonwalker.
(Image taken from: intradayfun.com)
5. Lara Croft
If we’re to believe the new Tomb Raider game coming out
features a younger Lara Croft, then that means the old games we used to play on
the PSOne feature the grown-up Lara, and good God, what what happened to her?
When she was younger, she actually looked like a human being, but later
(circa-late 90s), she became a mess of polygons and PS1 processing power. She
looks like a plastic surgery gone wrong. And it’s a shame. She used to be
stunning.
(image taken from: kotaku.com)
4. Raiden
Let’s chalk this one up in the improvement category. Raiden
was no slouch back in Metal Gear Solid 2 (Though, what was up with the naked
gymnastics?), but now in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, he’s a certified,
sword-wielding menace. Change isn’t always a bad thing.
(Image taken from: fanpop.com)
3. Dante
We’d be lying if we said we weren’t excited for the new
Devil May Cry, but Lordy, why on earth did he decide to go all Adam Lambert on
us? We’re sure he’s still a badass, but all we hear is, “What do you want from
me?” whenever we look at him now. Dye it white again, please.
2. Conker
Conker went from being a cute, go-kart driving squirrel in
Diddy Kong Racing, to being a cigar smoking, boob jumping, asshole in Bad Fur
Day. And we loved him for it. Debauchery, pass it on.
(Image taken from: 411mania.com)
1. 1. Bomberman
If there was ever a change in video game characters, the
greatest of all time would have to be Bomberman. Once an adorable man the size
of a plush doll, the blue bomber became a soulless, hard-edged killing machine
in Bomberman Zero, where all of his familiar features were entirely erased.
Damn, Bomberman, we feel like we don’t even know you anymore.
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