It has come to my attention that my beard is a very powerful thing. Just the other day, an orphanage was on the verge of closing and there I stood at their door, my hands on my hips, my chin to the sky, and the light shining in behind me. On that very same day, the owners of the orphanage told me that not only did they tear off the eviction notices from their windows, but also, that because of my beard, they decided to add a new wing for short people who look like children. God bless 'em. No, I take that back. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Now, that said, I have some bad news. The beard is going to have to come off at the end of the week. And before you tell me that I've sold out, I just want to debunk the rumors and tell you that I have NAWT.
The reason I'm cutting it is because I'm going to a writer's convention at the end of the week where there will be a lot of agents. And I want to impress them with not only my great story but also my Adonis like good looks. It's not easy being greasy. (No, really, it's not. It's actually kind of gross).
I'll make sure that I grow it back out after the convention. Stay tuned, boppers.
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