Question: Why Are Men Attracted to Women With Exotic Hair Colors Like Blue, Green, and Purple?

The Skinny: Though blond and red heads definitely drive most men wild, what drives many men even more wild is women with exotic, never appearing in genetics, hair colors like blue, green, and purple. But why? Why do so many guys go ga-ga for something that just doesn’t appear in nature? Women wearing blue wigs (Like Katy Perry, sigh) look about one million times hotter when they look like they’re part goddess, part Smurf, don’t they? So what’s the deal? Well, I think I might have the answer.

The Answer: I’m no Sigmund Freud, but I definitely think that having the hots for a woman with bizarre hair colors definitely stems from repressed, sexual feelings for cartoon characters men used to watch as children, namely Marge Simpson. For many men in my generation, Mrs. Simpson may have been the first female they unconsciously had the hots for but didn’t understand why. But she wasn’t the only one. Anime fans had a whole bevy of women to choose from, and that’s just from the Sailor Scouts alone. The truth is (And I’m seriously considering writing a thesis about this), the reason why men have the hots for any woman in their adulthood stems from the curves and appeal of the characters in their toy boxes when they were younger, with many of them being super curvaceous and having long, plastic hair (fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on who you talk to, women haven’t adopted this last trait), that stretches all the way to their butts. So the next time you see a woman with neon green hair walking down the street and start salivating uncontrollably, it’s not because she’s an Asian in a school girl outfit, no (Though, that does help). It’s because she reminds you of some chick you saw in a Japanese anime when you were younger, yes. I hope that clears things up.