Friday, May 11, 2007

And Then What...?


King-Mag.com

February 26th, 2oo7


After each winning an Oscar, Forest Whitaker and Jennifer Hudson are on the short list for Hollywood African-American history. Here’s hoping neither go the way of their esteemed colleagues and make a Soul Plane 2

After two amazing Oscar wins for Forest Whitaker (Actor in a Leading Role, The Last King of Scotland) and Jennifer Hudson (Actress in a Supporting Role, Dreamgirls) at the 79th Annual Academy Awards, another victory was in the books for black Hollywood (sorry Eddie, stick to wearing fat suits). But with great power comes great responsibility, and some actors just love the smell of money too much to know when to quit putting their names on crappy, hackneyed pictures. King-Mag.com takes an in-depth look at the post-Oscar performances of some recent award winners. J-Hud and Forest, take notes.

Jamie Foxx: After portraying Ray Charles to near perfection in 2004’s Ray (he even taped his eyes up so he’d be blind just like the musical icon), Jamie thought his next best role would be fighting a plane with artificial intelligence. Let us repeat that: Jamie thought his next best role would be fighting a plane with artificial intelligence.
Granted, Foxx did the film Stealth before he finished Ray. But having the words “Starring, Academy Award Winning Actor, Jamie Foxx,” plastered on all the posters couldn’t help his image once people actually saw it and heard him spouting off horrible one-liners like: “I will blast your aeroelastic ass right out of the sky!” He probably would have just been better off just making Booty Call 2: Double the Ass, Double the Laughs.

Halle Berry: Okay, so X-Men and B.A.P.S weren’t exactly the type of films that were going to get Halle Berry a seat next to Robert DeNiro or Dustin Hoffman anytime soon. But we were willing to accept that. Just seeing the beautiful actress with her caramel skin sunbathing topless in Swordfish was enough to make most of us forgive her for the empty seat.
But after her stunning performance in Monster’s Ball where she fell in love with Billy Bob Thorton’s slimy prison guard character, we expected big things from Halle Berry. We were not expecting Catwoman. Or Gothika. Or even X-Men: The Last Stand, for that matter. Please pay attention when we tell you Halle, wearing clear contacts and spreading out your arms to conjure up the tempests is not the kind of role an Oscar winner takes. Not even close.


Denzel Washington: Denzel as Malcolm X? Good for a nomination (but really, he was robbed). Denzel playing a crooked cop and double fisting two guns in Training Day? Good for the win. Denzel playing a time traveling ATF agent solving a convoluted case in the hold-your-nose, it stinks bomber, Déjà vu? Bad. Very bad.
Though it was directed by Tony Scott (the same guy who made Denzel a marching time bomb, Man on Fire), this horrible, off the wall, sci-fi tanker left much to be desired from the thespian who also starred in Broadway’s production of Caesar, post-Oscar. So what’s the moral of this story? Stick to being a badass and playing historical figures, Denzel, and stop time traveling. You’ll be just fine.

Morgan Freeman: For a man who has played a slave (Glory), the President (Deep Impact), and even God (Bruce Almighty), it was a pleasant reminder of just how human Morgan is when he finally won the Academy Award for his role as a down on his luck former boxer with a bad eye in Clint Eastwood’s, Million Dollar Baby.
So when Morgan decided his next role should be as a blind piano player (who does he think he is anyway, Jamie Foxx?) in the Jet-Li “epic,” Unleashed, a collective groan could be heard from anybody who actually saw him trade humorous barbs with Clint Eastwood.

Cuba Gooding Jr.: As a disgruntled NFL receiver with a Napoleon complex, Gooding was convincing enough to take home the Best Supporting Actor Oscar. But here’s how bad his post-Oscar movie choices were: In 2002, a man caught making bootleg copies of Snow Dogs was sentenced to the length of jail time usually reserved for convicted killers and third-time felons.
(There’s actually no reports of this ever really happening, but if it did, we would completely understand)


Three-6-Mafia: After winning the Original Song Oscar for “It’s Hard Out There For A Pimp”, them Memphis boys should’ve stayed fly for the remainder of ’06, especially since they were the first rap group ever to win the prestigious gold trophy. Instead, their next album has been sitting on Sony shelves like statuettes, and soon after their historical victory, member Crunchy Blac left the group. Most known unkowns indeed. - Rich B. Knight

No comments:

Post a Comment