The 50 Craziest Video Game Fatalities

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Here's an article I recently co-wrote for Complex-mag.com. Check it out here.

Review: Scream of the Banshee [DVD]

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I could call Scream of the Banshee awful -- it is, after all -- but I won’t. That would be too easy. It’s an “After Dark Original” movie and it was co-produced by the Syfy channel, so really, calling it crap would be like picking on a cripple. And who wants to do that? So, what IS good about it then? Well, it made me laugh. That’s good for something, right?

The Movie: Three stars out of five

Scream of the Banshee is like Troll 2. It abandons all logic, throws in some dumbass-looking costumes, and it’s infinitely more enjoyable when you watch it with like-minded friends who LIKE movies that are so bad, they’re good. And Scream of the Banshee is definitely that. It’s soooo bad…that it’s awesome.

The story itself makes no sense at all. A strange-looking shield that turns into a box is thrown at a banshee and it captures her head -- question mark, exclamation point, question mark. Centuries later, in modern day times, said box appears for no apparent reason at all, is opened, and the banshee escapes. Horror and shitty costumes ensue. But here’s the thing. Yes, the special effects for this movie probably cost about three dollars more than just putting it into Photoshop. And yes, the lines are performed so poorly that you’d probably see better at your son or daughter’s grammar school play. But that’s the whole allure with these kinds of pictures, especially when you know that the director’s heart was in the right place. There are many close shots of chomping teeth and bleeding ears, and also, quite possibly, the worst-looking fake video game ever put to film. But you can still see that the director cared and wanted this to be a good movie. He just didn’t have the money.

If you’re looking for an Ed Wood train wreck where EVERYTHING went wrong, you won’t find it here. The script for Scream of the Banshee was brain dead from the start, but a lot of scripts these days are like that (um, have you SEEN Transformers 3 yet?). That’s not the problem with this film. The problem with it is that special effects are ASS. If the director had the money, he would have used it to make at least a passable picture. But instead, the studio probably gave him a bag of potato chips and a pat on the ass and said, “Go make film now.” I mean, why ELSE would we get a shot of a giant hand coming out of a cloud of smoke and trying to grab a scared man as he leaps away from it? Sure, that’s dumb as hell, but if the special effects were better, it probably would have gotten a theatrical release. Instead, this movie went straight to DVD after having, like, a one-night run on the Syfy channel. Still, if you like crap with horrendous dialogue and laughable special effects, then you’ll love this. And if you don’t, then you won’t. I don’t know what else to tell you. But I myself definitely dug it. Check it out for yourself if you’re into garbage caught on film.



The Disc: Two stars out of five

There’s only one special feature on here, and it’s commentary. Imagine my discomfort. I knew the movie sucked, and the director surely knew it sucked, but I get a smarmy feeling whenever I listen to one of these commentaries and the director pretends like he doesn’t know what kind of trash he made. This commentary almost turns into that until the middle of the movie, when the director and the composer start bad-mouthing the movie themselves, talking about how shitty the special effects are and how badly it was edited in post-production. It’s hilarious. At one point, I laughed out loud when he told the listeners to please close their eyes at the scene where the giant hand comes out of the smoke. It takes a REAL man to admit when they’re down, and I applaud director Steven Miller for not wimping out. For the most part, that is. For the rest of the film, he compliments the composer to no end. And it gets a little boring hearing just how well the score turned out when the banshee pops out and starts shaking her hands.

There’s also “Widescreen Presentation,” if that’s even considered a special feature anymore and not just an industry standard, as well as English and Spanish subtitles. And that’s it. Pretty skimpy with the special features, but what were you expecting here? This isn’t a Criterion Collection DVD. You get what you pay for, and what you get isn’t all that much.


Scream of the Banshee Details
Length: 90 min
Rated: R
Distributor: Lionsgate Home Entertainment
Release Date: 2011-07-26
Starring: Marcelle Baer, Lauren Holly, Todd Haberkorn, Lance Henriksen
Directed by: Steven C. Miller
Produced by: Stephanie Caleb, Courtney Solomon, Gregory M. Walker
Written by: Anthony C. Ferrante
Visit the Scream of the Banshee Official Website:

Five Characters Who Should Be In Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 But Aren’t, and Five Characters Who Shouldn’t Be in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3, but Are

Okay, we’re not going to lie. Now that we saw the leak for the new characters in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3, we’re pretty excited. Ghost Rider, Dr. Strange, Strider, Phoenix Wright, they’re ALL characters that should have been in the first MvC3 in the first place. It’s only right that they’re finally making an appearance in this game. That said, there are definitely some characters who are SORELY missing from this game, and also characters that should be removed entirely to make way for some better ones, but weren’t. And here is that list. Come on, fanboys. You know you agree.

Five Characters Who Should be in the new game but aren’t

5. The Punisher

(Image taken from: digitalbustop.com)

Seriously, how has the other Frank NOT been in any of these Vs. titles yet? Yes, we know, one of the rumored reasons that he wasn’t put in the first MvC3 is because he was said to be too violent a character, but come on. Chris Redfield fires a shotgun right in Viewtiful Joe’s face in the original MvC3. You’re telling us that Frank Castle can’t deliver divine retribution without actually having to slit somebody’s throat? Cop out, Marvel. That’s a cop out.



4. Mega Man

(Image taken from: blog.capcom.com)

Okay, this one is for the fans. Yes, Zero is cool, and we like him. We like him a lot. He’s fast and aggressive. But where the hell is the blue bomber himself? He was one of our all-time favorite characters in the last game, and if Strider got to make the jump from the other two titles, how could Mega Man NOT? We don’t get it Capcom, are you TRYING to rile up the fans?



3. Edward Falcon

(Image taken from: animevice.com)

It seems like just about every Capcom character from Capcom every series has gotten love from the company except one—Power Stone. And why is that? We absolutely LOVE this free for all franchise and yet, we haven’t seen a single character from it in any of the games. Come on, we saw Batsu from Rival Schools fame in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom and Hayato from Star Gladiator in MvC2. You’re telling us that we can’t get a little love from our OTHER favorite obscure Capcom fighter? Cry your pardon?



2. The Scarlet Witch

(Image taken from: bite.ca)

Are you aware that there are absolutely NO females in the new roster for Ultimate MvC3? Not a single one. Dude, it’s a total sausage fest. And while it was a tough call, if we were to pick any badass female character to fill in that slot, it’d have to go to the Scarlet Witch. Magneto’s daughter deserves her due.



1. Moon Knight

(Image taken from: marvel.com)
Okay, call us biased, but we’re REALLY big Moon Knight fans here at the office. The troubled past of Marc Spector very rarely EVER gets seen in any Marvel games, and he’s obscure enough that he’d make a perfect addition right alongside Taskmaster and M.O.D.O.K. Oh, and speaking of M.O.D.O.K…



Five Characters Who Shouldn’t Be in the New Game But Are

5. M.O.D.O.K.

(Image taken from: tofupunk.com)

Listen, we have nothing against M.O.D.O.K. as a character. We dig him. He’s cool. But we still don’t like the way he plays in MvC3. Sure, online gamers have found a way to abuse the shit out of him, but we still have a bit of a problem controlling him about the screen. If any of the cool characters had to go that was already in the game, it’d have to be him. Just for controlling the damn character’s sake.



4. Vergil

(Image taken from: devilmaycry.wikia.com)

Fact. We love us some Devil May Cry. Dante and Trish were an awesome addition to the first game, and we still use them competitively today. They’re a great team. But do we REALLY need a third character from the series on the roster? Sure, now the DMC team can truly be complete, but he kind of feels like a sore addition. We could have done without him. Oh, and how much money are you willing to wager that they’re going to have an alternate costume of the NEW Dante from DMC 5 in this game? Gag.



3. Hawkeye

(Image taken from: aintitcool.com)

Wait! Let us speak! We love Hawkeye, we seriously do! But now, first with Thor (Who we adore, don’t get us wrong) and now with Hawkeye, it seems like Capcom’s only adding Avengers who are actually appearing in the movies themselves. And all we have to say is, what about Ant Man? Why hasn’t HE gotten his day yet? Do we want Hawkeye? Hell yes. Are we happy that he’s in this game? Hell yes again. But would we trade him for Ant Man if we had to choose. Hell yeah a third time. Ant Man is awesome. We have no idea why both Hollywood and Capcom seem to disagree.

2. Nemesis

(Image taken from: gamespot.com)

This is another issue of, we already have enough characters from the franchise already. With Chris, Jill, and Albert all in the original, do we REALLY need a fourth character from the RE series? Hell, we’re sure we’re going to tear some shit up with Nemesis when the game comes out, and it will be all good. But if we were to choose another RE character from the franchise, it would have to be Barry Burton. Just think of the achievement on 360 when he and Jill do a combo together. “You’ve just unlocked the master of unlocking locks.” Awesome. Sheer awesomeness.



1. Nova

(Image taken from: en.wikipedia.org)

You may be saying, what? What about Rocket Raccoon? Why did you pick Nova for number one? But here’s the thing. Going back to our Moon Knight argument, we’d definitely say that both Nova AND Moon Knight are D-level Marvel characters, we’re not going to lie. So we’re kind of upset that Nova got the nod from Capcom and Moon Knight didn’t. But if those two characters are D-level Marvel, then Rocket Raccoon is definitely F-level Marvel, and we dig that Capcom’s trying to introduce him to a brand new audience. We dig it. Just think, it COULD have been Howard the Duck instead. Shudder. But yeah, again, Nova is an alright character, but we already have enough obscure Marvel characters in the game already and we feel that he could have been replaced by another, maybe more well-known character for the fans. Like say, maybe Sue Richards or Luke Cage. We’re just sayin’.

Another Review of Captain America, but for Complex

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Another review of Cap Am. You can find it here

Review: Captain America: Super Soldier

(Image taken from: Cinemablend.com)

Is there anything worse than a movie video game? Usually, no, but sometimes, in the case of the Spiderman 2 game and The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher’s Bay, they can actually be pretty amazing. Well, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m actually going to put Captain America: Super Soldier for the 360 in that category, too.

It totally apes Batman: Arkham Asylum in the combat mechanics, with you fighting multiple baddies at once and bouncing from one bad guy to the next. But it actually does it so well that I don’t even mind. Tossing your shield is a blast. There are even sections of the game where you go all Prince of Persia and fling yourself around the German landscape. I love it.

But here’s the interesting thing. There once was a time when video game companies making multi-platform games would make the same game and just port them to the various platforms. But this being the end of the Wii’s lifespan, nobody’s kidding themselves. The Wii can’t handle the kind of game that is on the 360 and PS3. So you know what, Sega decided to make it different.



Captain America for the Wii, seriously looks like Goldeneye for the N64. The graphics are that bad. But that doesn’t mean that the game itself is bad. It just LOOKS awful. The gameplay itself is surprisingly entertaining. But it’s also very different. Instead of focusing on the up-close-and-personal combat in the 360 or PS3 versions, the Wii version focuses more on the mechanics of the shield. Blocking with it, deflecting bullets with it, tossing it, it’s all done effectively with the Wii-mote and nunchacku. But the actual hand-to-hand combat in this game is atrocious. Instead of the swift, Arkham Asylum movements in the 360 version, it boils down to being a button masher, that quite frankly, looks and feels awful. The hits feel unresponsive and loose, and the general flow of the game is much slower than its counterparts, even though all three versions are pretty much telling the same story. It’s a shame, too. Maybe the Wii-U would handle it much better. Too bad that console’s about a year away.

As for the Nintendo DS version, well, it’s the worst of the bunch, but it’s still not horrible. In May, I actually reviewed the Thor video game and mentioned how the DS version was better than its console brethren because of its simplicity. Well, that being said, Cap Am for the DS is a bit TOO simplistic. It features a whole bunch of interesting mechanics like the touch screen and stealth sections. But it still plays clumsily and the combat in it could feel more responsive. It doesn’t feel balanced and a lot of it is pretty repetitive with the running and jumping segments. They needed to be broken up more. Sure, there are some cool Ninja Gaiden-like sections where you’re bouncing off the walls to get higher. But overall, Cap Am just doesn’t work as well asThor did for the DS. The combat in this game isn’t as smooth as I’d like it to be, and knocking baddies around the screen with the shield isn’t nearly as satisfying as knocking them around with Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir.

Overall, though, the 360 version is awesome, the Wii version is passable, and the DS version is decent, but bordering on being not so good. Take one star off if you’re thinking about getting the Wii version, and one-and-a-half off if you’re thinking about picking it up for the DS. With the 360 version being so good, I’m actually looking forward to an Avengers game next year. Sega seems to be getting better at this. I’m impressed. Keep it up, Sega, keep it up.

Players: 1
Platform(s): Xbox 360 (reviewed), PS3, Wii (reviewed), DS (reviewed)
Developer: Next Level Games (Xbox 360 and PS3), High Voltage Software (Wii), Griptonite Games (DS)
Publisher: Sega
ESRB: Teen
Rating: Four stars out of five

An Update on the Huey Lewis and the News Concert That I went to With My Fiance Last Night

I still love Huey Lewis and the News (HUUUUEYYY!) as some of the people in the audience would call him. But his concert was kind of meh in a major way. Here's why.

New material. More specifically, Soulsville

(Image taken from: examiner.com)

It's not that I don't understand that the dude wants to plug his latest stuff, but almost the whole concert was his latest stuff, and that's not cool.



I mean, it's not that the new stuff is awful. But I wanted to hear, "Trouble in Paradise."



It's such a better song. But the whole concert only consisted of about four or five of the classics. And for a tour called "The Power of Love," you'd think it'd be more of the classics. Oh, well. At least my fiance and I got to see him, and that's saying something.

The Top Ten Games Featuring Members of the Avengers

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Here's my latest piece from Complex. You can find it here