DVD Review--The Comebacks

Parody movies are usually a hit (Scary Movie 1 and 2) or miss (Scary Movie 3 and 4) opportunity, that usually come off as either being lovingly tributary or downright mockeries of the films they’re trying to ape. The Comebacks, however, is a new low in the genre of monkey see, monkey mock, and one that will probably go down in history as the film that couldn’t even make a joke about Cuba Gooding Jr. in the movie Radio funny.

The Movie
2 Stars

In this humorless comedy, we find a slack lipped David Koechner from Anchorman fame cracking dick and fart jokes a mile a minute while the rest of the cast stands helplessly by fumbling their way through a gauntlet of terrible jokes that never quite reach the mark. Honestly, folks, there really isn’t much else to say about this poorly put together football film that spoofs everything from Friday Night Lights to Bend It Like Beckham, other than that the few opportunities that this film did have of scoring a comic touchdown are intercepted as soon as they reach the screen. And that leads the viewer in the complete opposite direction of entertainment—straight down to comedy hell.

The story centers around a bumbling boob named Lambeau “Coach” Fields who’s so bad at coaching that all the greatest blunders in sports history are because of his reckless involvement. It really doesn’t matter which sport it was, if a joke could be pulled out of it, Coach Fields was probably a part of it. Calling Baseball plays while doing a crossword puzzle? Check. Throwing a banana peel on a Nascar track, causing a twelve car pile-up? Check. There’s really no limit to how absent minded Coach Fields could be.

Surprisingly, though, the beginning of The Comebacks actually has a lot of potential, as some of the earlier moments where we first get to meet Coach Fields are actually pretty funny in a goofball, he-can’t-be-that-dumb, kind of way. But after the movie hits the five minute mark, it all goes down the toilet from there, both literally and figuratively (The final game of the movie actually takes place in a Championship game called, what else?-The Toilet Bowl).

Of course, being a terrible coach for a great deal of years has its repercussions, as Coach Fields currently finds himself jerking off farm animals to harvest their sperm for insemination. But after a visit from another coach (Carl Weathers), who was a former partner of Coach Fields, he gets coaxed back into action and quits his day job to return to the game to lead a college football team known as The Comebacks to victory. Why a terrible coach like Coach Fields would get a sweet plumb job like that, we don’t quite find out until the very end of the movie—if you stay that long—but rest assured, it’s eventually explained by the conclusion, though, not as well as you’d probably expect.

Along with Coach Fields’ lousy training is also a team that’s just as terrible to match his hellacious coaching. As you’d expect, the team is rounded out by the most blatantly stereotypical characters this side of a minstrel show. The Indian character is purely, pump your gas, Indian, and the Mexican is, straight from South Central, Mexican. And while I know this movie is playing off of all those other crummy sports movies that play race to the extreme, the jokes in this film just fall flat when compared to infinitely better parody films like, Not Another Teenage Movie or Naked Gun (Coach Field’s daughter actually makes out with her black boyfriend in front of him to annoy him, because apparently, closeted racism is funny).

Also making an appearance, in his very own little comeback, is Matthew Lawrence, who was last seen prominently fighting computer viruses in Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad. In this movie, he plays, Lance Truman, the butterfingers quarterback who of course reaches glory and gets the girl (who’s also Coach Field’s daughter) at the end of the movie, which is exactly what you’d expect from such a color by numbers football flick.

But if there’s one scene in particular that stands out in the movie (Besides a character named i-Pod who’s supposed to be a cheesy imitation of Cuba Gooding Jr’s character in Radio getting smashed over the head with a booze bottle for no apparent reason), it’s a scene where Coach Fields plays Journey’s infamous, Sopranos’ ending song, “Don’t Stop Believing,” to boost his team’s morale. In this scene, it breaks into a schlocky music video that has all the characters rocking out and singing to the thoroughly unfunny song that made the Sopranos’ ending so poignant and memorable. Everyone’s dancing and having a good time except Will Arnett, who looks as bored as bored could be staring dead-eyed into the camera and saying, “Sha-dows Search-ing.” That expression alone said more about how much this movie sucks, than this entire review did. I guess that’s why he makes the big bucks, and I currently invest my savings in a shopping mall penny pond.

The Disc
3 Stars

Featured on this Unrated DVD are some very vulgar clips of deleted scenes so unfunny that they actually didn’t make it into the movie (which is saying a lot), a freestyle from hottie, Noureen DeWulf, and booty bouncing from the character who plays iPod in the movie.

Sadly, if you were expecting something actually redeeming in the special features, you’d be sadly mistaken as nothing here either adds or enriches this shoddy excuse for a parody movie. Not even the director’s commentary, where he annoyingly cracks jokes about his name (it’s Tom Brady. Yes, like the Patriots’ QB) and the fact that he’s drinking during the commentary. Dude, it’s been done before. Like, way many times before.

Also featured on this set are improvised bits by some of the funniest stand-up guys doing horribly unfunny gags and then laughing at themselves thinking that this wouldn’t possibly end up in the final cut of the movie. Too bad for DVD special features, eh guys?

Add to the fact that there’s also a reel of Andy Dick acting like an ass for the camera and you have a DVD extras feature that’d probably be better off sacrificing to Satan for a far better film on DVD.

Very much like the movie itself, these special features are a waste-o-time.

DVD Review: Dragon Wars

Rich Knight
PG-13
DVD
90 Minutes
Starring: Jason Behr, Amanda Brooks, Craig Robinson, Elizabeth Pena, and Robert Forster
Directed by: Hyung Rae Shim
Produced By: Sungho Choi, James B. Kang
Written by: Hyung Rae Shim
Freestyle Releasing
Subtitles: English, Spanish, Chinese, French, Korean
http://cinemablend.com/dvds/Dragon-Wars-2906.html
The concept of two giant monsters battling it out doesn’t seem like all that revolutionary an idea in this day and age. Heck, Godzilla’s been doing it for the past 50 years. So how then did the recent Dragon Wars ever possibly make it onto the silver screen instead of jumping straight to video? By being the most expansive and elaborate film in Korean history, that’s how.

The Movie, 1 ½ stars

When walking through the video store or cruising Netflix and stumbling upon Dragon Wars, the first reaction is of course to plop out that wallet and pick it up. I have one word for you, though: “Don’t” as Dragon Wars (or, as it’s strangely sometimes referred to as, “D-Wars”), is as insipid and childish as you would expect from two giant beasts wrestling it out for the sake of all humanity.

The story starts out with a silly premise as a young child named Ethan (Cody Erans), who somehow wanders into a store that his dad so recklessly left him in, chats with an antique dealer named Jack (played by Oscar-nominated actor, Robert Forster), about a magical, ancient dragon scale he’s been keeping away for safe keeping. Luckily for Jack and unlucky for us, the viewers, Ethan is the reincarnated spirit of a 500 year old warrior named Haram, and just the chap Jack has been looking for to give his magical pendant to to unleash the power of a great Imoogi dragon when the time eventually calls for it.

Oh, and did I mention that Harem also has a love interest named Narin? Narin also has a reincarnated spirit named Sarah who’s on the run from an evil Imoogi named Buraki since she has the power of a good Imoogi living inside of her. Oh, you mean I didn’t mention that? Oh, well, it’s probably all for the better.

Anyway, flash-forward about 15 years and Roswell’s Jason Behr, is rubbing a pendant on his neck (the very same pendant we saw in the very beginning of the movie! Plot progression!), signaling that he’s older, wiser, and now more suspicious when a news report tells that a mysterious dragon scale has been found in a strange location.

What follows is a whole lot of serpent screaming and slithering as Buraki (are you keeping track of all these stupid names?) tries to kill Sarah before she gets a chance to let her soul transform into the great, Hevenly beast she has locked away inside of her. And I won’t ruin the ending for you if you’re actually interested in seeing this film after that straight-faced description I gave of this ludicrous piece of garbage.

And if you’re thinking that maybe this is the kind of film that’s so bad it’s good, then you’re right—To an extent. You see, Dragon Wars actually tries really hard to be an awesome experience to nerds and 8 year olds, alike, and on that scale, it actually succeeds as the visuals aren’t half bad for an import. But the storyline is so incredibly bad that it’s actually sometimes hard to laugh at all the effort that went into making this such a visual work of art—Especially for a low budgeted, Korean film. So when one of the characters drives away from a monstrous snake with an expression on his face as if he were simply worried about making it past a yellow light before it turns red, you feel both hilarity and pathos knowing that a lot of work went into this monstrosity of a film.

Add one point for Korea for making this a huge hit on their shores, and minus one point for America for hoping for another Asian epic in the vein of Godzilla.

The Disc: 1 Star

For a movie that’s so utterly horrible, you’d think the special features would be extra awesome to make up for the travesty that is the rest of the package, but you’d be horribly wrong if you thought that with D-Wars. Featured in this meager DVD is a featurette titled, “5,000 Years in the Making,” which feels like 5000 years while watching it as former comic actor and current director, Hyung Rae Shim thanks almost everybody and his mother for all the support they’ve given him in Korea over the years. Apparently, this film’s had a long gestation period and has been languishing on the cutting room floor since 2002, when it was first brought up from the director.

Also featured are animatics, conceptual art stills, previews for lesser (Jackie Chan’s, The Myth) and greater (The Godzilla collection) films, and…well, that’s about it.

Personally, I would have loved to have had some translated commentary from the director about the reviled reaction it got here in the States and around the world, but that’s not here, of course. Neither are deleted scenes of Robert Forester sadly dropping his head in shame while reading the script he must have signed on for just because he was low on rent money.

Quite frankly, if you’ve already seen the movie in theatres, you’re not going to be missing much here if you don’t see these extremely vapid special features.

A Sad Saturday as Dog Owners Mourn the Loss of their Pets

On a windy Saturday morning, a parking lot slowly filled up with cars and trucks in front of Candi’s Scissors & Suds II Pet Palace Inn in Lake Hopatcong where a memorial was held at 10:00 AM. This was following a recent fire that killed nine dogs there on December 30th, shortly before the New Year began.

“I don’t think some people understand that dogs [can become] an extension of the family,” says Trish Dancy, who worked the late shift at Candi’s store, but wasn’t there when the incident occurred at 5:30 in the morning. She said this aptly in front of a poster filled with the pictures of the deceased dogs that read, “To Our Beloved Children.” And to all who lost a pet, or even for those who didn’t and just came to pay their respects, the animals were just that to them—beloved children to the community at large.

Their names were Belle, Gypsy, Olaf, Jet, Eros, Ruby, Yentil, May, and Cocoa, and all of them passed when smoke filled the room due to a malfunction in the building.

“The fire wasn’t because of a space heater like everybody is saying,” said Gary Cirincione, who is the owner of the shop and fiancé of Candi Coon, “It was because of a wall-mounted [detector] that the smoke alarms didn’t go off.”

He said this as he looked over at Candi, who cried uncontrollably staring down at the memorial, and then he walked slowly into the tent that was set up for the people who showed up to pay their condolences to the dead.

Inside the tent, a warm sort of air filled the place as people huddled inside the small area. Some people brought their dogs, while others just stood there with their hands in their pockets, surveying the area. One such of the latter was Chris Villanova who has a Siberian Husky at home named Cyrus. Cyrus is named after the constellation, Sirius, which is part of a band of constellations that actually make up what is known as Canis Major in the solar system, or, the Great Dog due to its shape.

Mr. Villanova never brought his dog to Candi’s, due to the fact that he’s constantly worried about leaving his dog with other people, but he still thinks highly of the place and the owners of the animals.

“Even though this place is on the cutting edge of boarding places,” Chris said, smiling over at another Siberian Husky that he says looks just like his own at home, “And granted everybody takes care of the animals here, you just can’t tell [what’s going to happen when you leave them].”

And he’s right when he says that the shop is on the cutting edge of boarding houses, as there are no cages and also cameras sprinkled about inside so people can see their animals online when they’re on vacation.

These are all factors that make pet owners agree that Candi’s is the best place in town to leave their dog when they’re away.

“This was the only kennel where my dogs didn’t get sick,” Margie Mills says as the mayor of Jefferson walked up front to introduce the priest from St. Teresa’s who came in to say a sermon.

“I don’t know where we’re going to take them now,” Mills said.

“Oh, God, this is so terrible,” another said regarding the situation as the priest went up and read a poem called, “Just a dog.”

But while tears and tissues were a major part of the ceremony, it wasn’t all about sadness and remorse, as comfort was also a part of the proceedings.

“This was needed for closure,” says Jefferson Mayor, Russell Felter, who has three dogs named Oreo, Cookie, and Sandi, and is also married to Tami who works at the store and helped set up the event. “There’s an amazing turnout here.”

And in that turnout, people hugged, cried, and said thank you, making it so nobody was left alone in their suffering and heartache on that windy Saturday morning, when patrons huddled inside a tent.
***

Fighting Games Died When Anime Based Games Were Born

With the interesting Street Fighter IV (I say interesting because I still hesitate to call it awesome) on the very distant horizon, I think a more immediate concern is that fighting games in general are pretty much dead, save for the really crappy anime titles that have since graced the consoles.

Dragonball Z pretty much started this whole transition of Cartoon Network to video game console with Budokai on the PS2 (Though, there were scores more DBZ games before this title), and many others followed. Inuyasha, Bleach, and (yech) Naruto have all been translated to slightly better than average fighting franchises, and more are probably on the way.

But why has the once wildly popular genre of pounding somebody else’s face in on a 2-D plane (d)evolved into strictly being fare for the 14 year olds and geek crowd? Sure, Soul Caliber, Tekken, and others are great series’ that have maintained a certain air of prestige over the years, but these are all old franchises that have gotten little to no fresh new features to warrant it a reason to fall back in love with fighting games again. Instead, we’re left with only the Guilty Gear series (Much better than you think) and Smash Bros. to really relive those massive, sky high combos and awesome super attacks of yore that made fighting games such a hoduken in the face blast to play in the first place.

I think the main reason that Anime titles are now the only source of fighting fun, though, is because they’re so damn easy to make. Honestly, how many Street Fighter clones did we see in the early to mid-90s? All it takes to make a fighting game apparently is a few quarter circles, a decent graphics chip, and a good enough speed to warrant playability to create one, which makes it so easy to just plop in Naruto and add a few voice snippets to the game.

Alas, I’m afraid we’ll never see a brave new fighting game like Killer Instinct or even a War Gods—which even I’ll admit was terrible—again. Well, we’ll always have Street Fighter IV, I guess.

Motivational Speaker Comes Back To Jefferson For A Second Go Around

Growing up is tough. Whether it be on the rough side of town in Los Angeles or even the humble suburbs of Jefferson, the years between childhood and adulthood are some of the most trenchant and trying times for teenagers, no matter what area they happen to grow up in.

And that’s why motivational speaker extraordinaire, Keith Hawkins, who’s been traveling to schools across the county for the past 15 years now, has been called in to work his magic at Jefferson High School and Middle School on the 14th and 15th respectively.

“When we get somebody like Keith to come to our school, I know the PTA is doing their job,” says Michelle Cannorozzi, Vice President of Programs for the High School Parent, Teachers, and Student Association, and Program Liaison for the Middle School.

“We really wanted to get more character based [activities] for leading your own life,” says Cannorozzi.

And Mr. Hawkins will be doing just that with his Stepping Up To The Challenge presentation, which he’ll be presenting to the kids when he swings by this year.

“The title might sound the same, but the content is different,” says Mr. Hawkins.

He says the title might sound the same because this actually isn’t his first time talking at the high school and middle school. Five years ago, he actually came by before, teaching the students about how to stay motivated and afloat of the problems that may be plaguing their lives.

“[It’s all about] the challenges they face in regards to education,” Keith says.

And Keith is definitely the right person to do it since he knows all about what it takes to exercise one’s demons.

Growing up on the harsher side of LA in a single parent environment, Keith was a leader even back when he was a child. Unfortunately, it was for the opposite side of society.

It actually wasn’t until he met a motivational speaker of his own named, Phil Boyte, that Keith decided to change his ways and get on track with where he wanted to go with his life.

And fifteen years later, he’s definitely moved on. Having spoken from everywhere to Newark to Columbine after the school shootings, Keith, who originally worked with the motivational group Learning for Living with his mentor before he moved on, has since gone on to become one of the leading speakers to the youth of America.

“I interacted with [the kids of Columbine] as if it were any other school,” says Keith on the experience of handling a tragedy. “While others were treating it as this huge thing, I went there and treated them like regular students.”

And in that way, Keith helped to make them feel normal again and not like the nation’s pariahs, which is always the case when put in the spotlight on a national scale.

“[I want to] get rid of doubt in their lives, and how they deal with fear,” says Keith, with fear being an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real (Keith likes to use acronyms a lot).

The speech on doubts and fears will especially press on an aspect at Jefferson’s school as one of the students last year actually committed suicide.

“There was a death of a student [last] year,” says Cannorozzi, “and Keith asks, ‘Do you want me to touch on it? Do you want me to leave it alone?’”

Keith will of course touch on it and other aspects of the teenagers’ and parents’ existence when he comes by and speaks on the 14th and 15th, (a parent session will also be held at night on the 14th at the high school). That is his job after all—the job of a motivational leader.
***

National Treasure: 2-Disc Set Review

When the Nic Cage vehicle, National Treasure came out in 2004, nobody expected it to be the massive, worldwide hit that it was ($347.5 million dollars sure is a lot of money). Sure, it was a big and flashy Bruckheimer blockbuster, but this was PG, stuffed with history, and didn’t have a single pirate in it (Unless you count the skeletal pirates on the doomed ship, the Charlotte). But with a quest so heavily laden with conspiracy theories at the roaring time of the Da Vinci Code, how could we have possibly thought otherwise? It also helps that National Treasure never misses a beat and delivers in every single way imaginable.

The Movie: Four and a half stars

In the Nic Cage canon, National Treasure is certainly not his best film (leave that to Adaptation). That said, it may just be his most fun, as few movies have truly utilized the Nic Cage as goofy everyman/bona fide action hero as well as National Treasure has.

Playing as the aptly named Benjamin Franklin Gates, Nic’s treasure hunting tale begins with a story about how Gates’ great, great, great grandfather was told a secret by a moribund Charles Caroll, who was the last living signer of the Declaration of Independence. What he was told was about how a clandestine fortune still lies hidden, and that the current secret “lies with Charlotte.” Cryptic words if there ever were any.

This of course sends us to present day, where we find out that Charlotte was not in fact a person, but rather, a sunken vessel. And on this vessel, Gates and his genius partner, Riley Poole (Justin Bartha) are searching for clues while his financier friend, Ian Howe (Sean Bean), is silently scheming on how to steal said clues. And it’s here, within the first few minutes of the movie that the little over two hour film really begins to pick up steam, as Ian Howe betrays the two of then and steals the treasure Gates’ has just uncovered—A pipe etched with a riddle on it. The wily Howe then leaves them for dead in a tundra explosion, providing the first real cliffhanger of many in this intelligently wrought action comedy.

Our heroes of course make it out alive in pure Bruckheimer fashion, and go on a quest that takes them from stealing the Declaration of Independence, to locating Ben Franklin’s special specs at Independence Hall, and even to Trinity Church in New York, where the treasure truly lies.

As great as Nic Cage is as an actor though, the film probably wouldn’t have been as good as it was if it weren’t for the outstanding costars. Besides the witty banter he has with Riley Poole and his love interest, Diane Kruger (Abigail Chase), the hammy as always, Jon Voight, who plays Nic Cage’s father, Patrick Henry Gates, is the real spotlight stealer in the film. And that’s because unlike the younger Gates’ who fully believes in the conspiracy, Gates Sr. is a skeptical, old coot who can’t imagine that there could possibly be hidden messages scrawled on the back of the Declaration of Independence. That is, of course, until he sees it for himself and winds up getting swept up into the whole mess also, which changes this film from being a standard treasure hunting flick, to a rollicking chase movie. Jon Voight just so happens to have the perfect role of looking bemused in the midst of chaos that you actually believe he can act again, which is no small feat.

It should be noted, though, that if anyone drags this film down, it’s the overly sapient, cool as a cucumber, Harvey Keitel, who plays the FBI Special Agent Peter Sadusky. His steely gaze and slow, husky voice seem to suck out all the life blood from every scene he appears in. Good thing these scenes are few and far between and that Nic Cage ramps up the energy every time he’s back on screen.

The Disc: Four Stars

To add to the whole mystery and glamour of treasure hunting is an excellent documentary on the first disc about real live treasure hunters and the techniques they use the preserve priceless artifacts. It goes to show that most of the stuff in the movie is purely bunk (as if you didn’t already know) as things just don’t happen that quickly in treasure hunting. Some of these people have been searching for close to a decade for certain treasures before they actually ever found them.

Also included on the first disk are deleted scenes, an alternate ending, and an animatic clip of the opening sequence, all featured with optional commentary. The real scene stealer though is the “Riley’s Decode This!” feature, which gives you a history lesson on various hidden cyphers, such as Hieroglyphics and Morse Code, while at the same time, providing a game for you and secret clues that open up even more features when you start piecing everything together.

That said, it’s a real shame that the second disc in this 2-Disc Collector’s Edition, which is no doubt being released since the sequel, Book of Secrets is just around the corner, is not as detailed as the richly prepared first disk. Featured in disc 2 are a few more deleted scenes, none of them really that important (One featuring an even longer sequence of the dull Keitel), which is also with optional audio commentary. Also on the disc is an informative lecture on Ciphers, a history lesson on the various locations of the film, and a sequence talking about how the crew blew up the sunken ship, the Charlotte, to make for a very riveting beginning.

And though it may very well be a special, hidden feature on the first disc, I couldn’t find any sort of full movie commentaries featuring either the director, Jon Turteltaub, or Nic Cage, which would have been interesting to hear how they felt about reacting to the twist and turns of the film.

Even so, you really can’t go wrong when a film like National Treasure is as good as it is. The big question though is, is it worth buying all over again if you already have the original 1-disc set? Personally, I say no, as the original commentaries and alternate ending have already been heard and seen before. But if you want a little more history mixed in with your treasure hunting, you can’t go wrong with this special disc set.

Wii Review: Super Mario Galaxy

While you’ve probably already read a baker’s dozen of reviews for the pleasant plumber’s escapades in outer space, this one’s different. Why? Well, unlike pretty much everybody else on the planet, I actually liked Super Mario Sunshine quite a bit and don’t just jump from Mario 64 to Mario Galaxy in comparisons like everybody else. In my mind, every game has progressed to reach this very moment to craft not only the best game the Wii has ever been graced with (Sorry, Twilight Princess fans, but this one has you beat), but also the best game in the Mario series ever. Super Mario World be damned!

What makes this game such a magical adventure, from its slightly slow start to its ultra awesome conclusion (I still haven’t gotten to the Luigi game yet), is how Nintendo managed to flip, both literally and figuratively, Mario from his side scrolling days of yore to now. Sure, Mario 64 did that just fine, but beneath the veneer of totally 3-D gaming done right, it still felt like a game that could have been done in 2-D if Master Miyamoto had decided to put it in that format. Not so with Mario Galaxy, a game that utilizes the nunchuku and Wii-mote so well, that I’ve finally become a true believer.

What Galaxy does with the physics and gravity of the minor planets and the overall scope of the larger ones is simply astounding. This is the overall leap from 3-D (Running completely around some planets—King Kai style—without falling off), that Mario 64 really wanted to be, and what Mario Sunshine came very close to nailing.

You start the game off learning that every 100 years or so, stars fall from the sky with the energy to power the entire universe. These stars can be harvested and yada, yada, yada, honestly, you won’t really care about the story (Even when Bowser comes into the picture with a flying airship), and will instead want to skip right to the gameplay, where you end up on a strange planet having to run and catch bunny rabbits, Mario 64 style. This is more a tutorial to teach you that, yes, you can run almost anywhere you want at certain times without the impending fear of falling off into the quasars, as some planets just work that way. It’ll take you about four minutes to get the hang of.

But that’s not saying that you can’t fall to your doom, though. On some of the larger planets, there are black holes directed right in the middle of them that if you fall off, you’ll get sucked off the terrain right to your death. If you think about it, it’s the equivalent of missing a jump in any of the Mario games—it means game over for you, bub.

And that’s why I said that every game in the Mario series has led up to this moment as just about every title has some sort of spark in its creative crevices located in this game. You have the down to Earth style of the first title, with its, get from A to Z momentum in Galaxy. You have aspects of going down into tunnels and coming out in brand new worlds similar to Mario Bros. 2. You have the sprawling, world map like qualities as found in Super Mario World. You even have the gimmicky Yoshi as seen in Mario Sunshine in Galaxy (One of my favorite special stars was called something along the lines of, “Random Appearance By Yoshi,” which is just about how I felt in Sunshine, too). But the game that Galaxy apes the most, and veterans of the series will probably appreciate, is Super Mario Bros. 3, inarguably the crowd favorite when it comes to longstanding fans of the series. From its airship battles, costume changes, and overall sprawl of secrets and missions, some could argue that Galaxy is basically the spiritual successor to Mario 3, with no level emphasizing that more than the very early Bee Galaxy. It’s here that Mario dons his funny bee suit and has the ability to fly for a limited amount of time to reach certain objects in the level.

At one point, you even have to fly and crawl on the queen bee to pluck off little individual star pieces that are making her itchy. Immediately, memories of swimming underwater with the frog suit in Mario 3 jumped to my mind for some reason. And it’s not because the two are really similar in their objectives or anything like that, but more because that sense of wonderment and discovery, that sense that I’m having the time of my life with a plumber, overwhelmed me all over again and reminded me of just why I fell in love with video games in the first place. If anything, if you’ve become a gaming atheist and have lost all faith in the medium, play Mario Galaxy to revive that interest once again. Seriously, I had given up on Nintendo forever until I played this game. Now, all I want to do is play the Wii some more.

Another great thing is the boss battles, which I looked forward to rather than wished to avoid. Unlike in past Mario games, the boss battles in this one are abundant, and each one asks you to try something totally different to thwart your baddie. Honestly, by the time I had gotten to Bowser for the first time, I was already so pleased with the boss battles that they could have already stopped throwing them at me and I would have been perfectly happy. Similar to God of War 2—another great game that I totally urge you to play—the boss battles really emphasize the strength and abilities of the lead character as a great game should.

Never have I felt more in tune with Mario than when I faced off against the bosses in this game, and I’ve been playing with Mario since the days he was simply called Jumpman. I’d be lying if I said this game didn’t have its faults (Some of the galaxies are lackluster. I’m looking at you Ghost Galaxy), but there’s so much good going for the game, that you’d have to look far and wide to find another game of this caliber. And I mean Super Mario Sunshine far. As I said before, I actually liked that game. If you even remotely liked Sunshine, then you’ll absolutely love this one. Bar none, Mario Galaxy is the game of the year. It might even be the game of the decade.